I don’t quite doubt your love for me,
But I am afraid, now, I can’t bring myself to marry.
I love you just as much as you do but fate has already decided our split,
And I don’t have it in me either to build my castle, crushing someone underneath it. – IAdoreYouCreates
W H A T H A P P E N E D I N T H E E P I S O D E ?
While Babi Aatya waits at the Mandap, Ovi, Bhaskar and Kanitkars reach Bhaskar’s home where they find Deepali unconscious on the bed. Ovi panics to see that Deepali isn’t responding to her.
Bhaskar finds a bottle of sleeping pills on the side table and instantly grows anxious. Ovi starts weeping, asking Bhaskar if her mother will never wake up again.
Bhaskar tries to pacify her before asking Kukki to call the ambulance. Shashank says that he has already called the ambulance and that they must be already on the way.
Nikhil slowly asks if they have that amount of time. Bhaskar says that he has no idea since there is no way they can know how many sleeping pills Deepali has consumed.
While Bhaskar decides to give her a precautionary first aid, Amey asks Shashank to call the ambulance again.
At the wedding venue, Babi Aatya and everyone else wait, visibly heartbroken.
On the other hand, Shashank informs everyone that he just had a word with the ambulance driver and they are about to reach. He tells Bhaskar that he has talked to Dr. Kaushik and that they should admit Deepali to their hospital.
Bhaskar reveals that even though he has assured Ovi that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her mother but the reality is that he couldn’t locate Deepali’s pulse and it’s a complicated situation.
Shashank tries to comfort Bhaskar by saying – don’t take the stress. You yourself are a doctor but I am probably seeing this for the first time that when it’s about your own people… even doctors get nervous but don’t worry. Dr. Kaushik will take care of Deepali.
Shashank comes up with a plan – we will take Deepali Aunty to the hospital right as the ambulance comes, admit her and start the treatment. You just take fifteen minutes out to go back to Babi Aatya and complete the wedding.
Bhaskar – Are you saying that I should go and sit in the mandap, leaving Deepali in this condition here?
Kukki – No, no. That’s not what Shashank is saying. We all are here to take care of Deepali and in the hospital… Dr. Kaushik will do everything it will take to treat Deepali hut can you please go back to the Mandap? Babi Tai is wanting just for you.
At the Mandap, Babi Aatya sits numb as her eyes stay fixed at the door, waiting for Bhaskar. The guests start leaving.
Meanwhile, at Bhaskar’s home, the discussion continues.
Bhaskar – Am I so inhuman, Vikas? My daughter is crying right there, beside her mother. I have assured her that I will not let anything happen to her mother and leaving all of this, I should go and complete my wedding? What will my daughter think about me? That how selfish her father is?
Shashank cuts him off – one.. one minute. Does the wedding seem selfish to you? No, if you do think that then what’s Babi Aatya’s fault in this whole thing? Why is she getting the punishment despite having no fault in the whole thing?
Bhaskar sternly asks Shashank – is this the right time for this argument, Shashank? My priority – at the moment – is getting Deepali hospitalized. If you people are going to help me – fine – if not, I am capable enough to do it alone.
Kukki tells him that they are coming with him saying that none of them are cruel and selfish, adding that they will leave right after the ambulance comes.
As Bhaskar leaves, Shashank tells Kukki that it’s not what they meant to say what Bhaskar thought they did. Kukki makes Shashank understand that Bhaskar is stressed at the moment.
Amey can’t help but express that Babi Aatya has to bear this all for no fault of hers.
Nikhil adds that these are all what-if things before raising the question that how Deepali did not think about Ovi before taking such an extreme step. Shashank and Amey support Nikhil but Kukki responds by saying that they don’t know yet why Deepali did what she did. Shashank comforts him when he gets emotional thinking about Babi Aatya.
At the wedding venue, Kanitkar women take a numb Babi Aatya inside. They try to comfort and assure Babi Aatya that everything is going to be alright. Maai tells her that Kukki informed her that they have hospitalized Deepali in Dr. Kaushik’s hospital. When Babi Aatya starts taking her jewelry off, Suva Aai asks her to wait, assuring her that Bhaskar will be back right as Deepali regains consciousness but Babi Aatya continues to take everything off. Aparna Kaku offers her juice but Babi Aatya stops her, telling everyone that she is fine.
She asks Maai what else Kukki said on the phone. Everyone tries to hide Deepali’s suicide attempt from Babi Aatya but she seems to have gotten the idea already. When Suva Aai makes an excuse that Deepali probably couldn’t tolerate India’s heat – Babi Aatya asks them if she couldn’t tolerate the heat or her and Bhaskar’s wedding. Eventually, Suva Aai reveals that she is right and Deepali has indeed attempted suicide, adding that she has taken sleeping pills.
The confirmation momentarily shocks Babi Aatya but she is quick to add that she has been telling everyone the same from the very beginning but nobody listened to her – I kept telling you people but none of you listened. Deepali had… has something for Bhaskar in her heart. I… I was an idiot to agree to this marriage. I should have stayed firm in my decision. Had I stuck to my decision… that poor Deepali wouldn’t have needed to take this… this step.
Seeing Babi Aatya blaming herself for what Deepali has done, Suva Aai loses her cool – poor Deepali? Poor Deepali? Even after all of this… poor Deepali? Then what are you? You and Bhaskar love each other so much. Have waited for each other for so many years. Stayed loyal to each other for so many years and still… poor Deepali? Why do you have to take the blame on yourself every single time?
Maai calms Suva Aai down, telling Babi Aatya that she is getting her love back after so many years and she is turning her back on it.
Babi Aatya – But Deepali turned her back on life because of me. What about that?
Aparna Kaku – It’s because Deepali has taken something wrong in her mind. Bhaskar has no such feelings for her. If at all he did… he would have married her long ago.
Maai – You did give her enough time to think and decide. It was Deepali who insisted that you and Bhaskar should get married.
Suva Aai – And no matter what happens… now you two are going to get married. There could be a different reason why Deepali consumed the pills. Don’t take the whole blame on yourself. Sure, we can pray that she feels better and recovers soon but that’s all that is in our hands.
Apurva and Manasi who are standing outside the room, hear everything.
Apurva – What… what sort of woman is this Deepali? She attempted suicide just so that Babi Aatya and Bhaskar Kaka’s wedding stops?
Manasi – We don’t yet know what has really happened. Kukki just said on the phone that they have found the sleeping pills in her room.
Apurva – That is what it means, Manasi Vahini. She did attempt suicide.
Manasi tries to calm Apurva down saying that Deepali will recover soon, asking her not to stress – my heart breaks for Babi Aatya at the moment. She had just started to paint her dreams again and this happened. She was about to get the life partner that she wanted… the one who really loves her and this… this happened.
Neither Manasi nor Apurva can control their tears as the latter utters – will their wedding never happen?
The scene shifts to the hospital where Shashank and Kukki are still trying to convince Bhaskar to go home. Shashank assures him that he will keep Bhaskar updated about Deepali’s health but Bhaskar refuses to leave the hospital till Deepali regains consciousness.
Dr. Kaushik reveals that Deepali had consumed a lot of sleeping pills and was extremely critical when they brought her to the hospital but assures them that she is responding now, telling them that even though she is in a coma at the moment, she will regain the consciousness soon. He assures Bhaskar not to worry, telling him that he is going to stay at the hospital the whole night.
Relief rushes through Bhaskar as he plops down on the hospital bench, reflecting back – Deepali was the one to suggest me to talk to Vidya regarding the marriage but started behaving weirdly once Vidya agreed. Created a ruckus in the Haldi as well. She did not let me have even an inkling that she had any such thing in her mind but Vidya caught it. We have been staying together for so long… If Deepali had any such thing in her heart… she should have clearly told me. I would have cleared her misunderstanding then and there. I have only respect and empathy for her in my heart but love…never. I never felt it for her. I would have made her understand that for a love to succeed… it has to be from both sides.
At Kanitkar’s residence, Sumi, Manasi and Apurva stand restless and worried.
Sumi – How come nobody has called us to update anything yet?
Manasi – Deepali Tai must have not gotten critical, no?
Sumi – Hopefully not. That’s what we can pray for.
Manasi – But I don’t get one thing. When we went to Bhaskar’s Kaka’s home… Deepali Tai seemed so normal. None of us could imagine that she had any such thing in her mind. Why did she take this step?
Sumi – I know, right? She was saying that she will prepare for Babi Aatya’s GrihaPravesh.
Sumi catches Apurva pacing back and forth in distress and makes Manasi take a look at her as she says how truly upset Apurva is ever since she heard this news.
Apurva rushes to Manasi and Sumi, furiously asking them why Deepali is behaving this way – what’s her problem?
Sumi asks Apurva to calm down, telling her that there is no way that they could know what exactly the whole thing is.
Manasi can’t resist adding that if at all Deepali had any such thing going on in her mind, she shouldn’t have at least put the wedding thing in Babi Aatya’s head.
Apurva – I couldn’t stand that woman’s behavior on that day itself. She had insulted everyone. This only means… that she really does like Bhaskar Kaka. 100%.
Sumi – Can’t’ say, Appu. A lot of times, people bury their feelings deep within themselves and one day, they just explode.
Manasi – Could be the case. Deepali Tai’s feelings must have intensified when she got to know that Bhaskar Kaka and Babi Aatya are getting married.
Sumi – And when she realized that she cannot do anything, she decided to end herself.
Hearing Sumi and Manasi, Apurva’s mind starts relating Deepali’s situation to Shashank’s – could it be the same thing with Khadoos? What if he loves Netra Tai but buried his feelings inside his heart upon being forced by Dada-Kak and everyone? What if someday even Khadoos’s feelings explode and he ends up doing something like this?
M Y T A K E
Deepali attempted suicide.
Quite honestly, this was not surprising. Her dialogue that we won’t be able to meet each other again right after Bhaskar left for the wedding gave away that she had already made up her mind to end everything. To end herself. The sight still unsettled me despite having seen it coming. Just one of those sights that have and will always affect me no matter if it’s fiction or reality. The extreme step that Deepali had chosen to take was heartbreaking.
Deepali – we know neither too little nor too much about this woman. Just a few things like she lost her husband in a car accident and Bhaskar became their pillar of constant support all along. If I try to imagine what kind of circumstances could have been back then – maybe a lot of initial time must have gone into coping with her husband’s and her child’s father’s loss.
Dealing with losses has never been easy and it will probably never be. Presuming that Deepali had nobody else whom she could rely upon, Bhaskar probably ended up becoming her only and constant support system throughout. He chose to adopt her daughter, love her like she is his own child and took care of the duo like a family. They spent years doing the same things.
Deepali probably did not even realize why, when and how she started getting inclined toward Bhaskar. Deepali probably did not even realize when her heart ended up making her friend who has supported her in her tough times more than just a friend. I wonder if the realization ever occurred to her before his and Babi Aatya’s reconciliation happened. If it did – she probably stayed quiet and oblivious to it – because it might have been uncomfortable of course.
Even coming to the acceptance of her own feelings might have been uncomfortable because she knew that she was not supposed to fall for Bhaskar.
Bhaskar was supposed to stay just a guardian and a father to her daughter and just a friend to her. Just a friend. But her heart ended up giving him a space no matter how hard she must have tried to stop it but even then, probably things did not mess up because she kept everything that she felt for him within her heart. Almost believing that their happy little castle was going to stay the same forever.
So many years. Bhaskar has been staying with Deepali and Ovi for so many years. We get attached to even soft toys if kept them with us for a month or two and here… we are talking about living people. Deepali probably just never considered that Bhaskar could ever go away from them.
Even when she knew that Bhaskar has been in love with Babi Aatya for years – neither did it matter to her nor did it affect her because most likely, she was never looking for Bhaskar’s love to get bothered by the fact that his heart holds someone else.
She just had his presence – didn’t matter if it was as a friend, her child’s father or as someone else. She had his presence and for her – it was probably enough. So enough that she never quite considered letting him see that her feelings for him have changed but the moment Bhaskar and Babi Aatya reconciled – it was the moment when she saw the castle of her happy little family come crashing down. And that was the moment when she knew that everything had already slipped out of her hands.
Her suicide attempt did not seem rash. It seemed like she had been contemplating it for a while. The calm with which she confessed that it was her and Bhaskar’s last meet after he left for the wedding made me feel that she had decided it for a while now.
Did Deepali not think about Ovi before taking such an extreme step? I think, she did. She must have. Ovi is her child. Mothers are selfish – primarily and mostly for their kids.
Here are some things that Deepali might have considered –
She probably thought that her death might make things easier for Ovi. It is an undeniable fact that Ovi’s family life would differ from the usual normal after Bhaskar and Babi Aatya’s marriage. She would have two mothers. One her own and one – her father’s wife. And it is not an easy thing for every kid to accept.
She probably thought that her death might gift Ovi a better family life. She might have assured herself that sooner or later Ovi will get over her death, give her place to Babi Aatya and lead a life free of any conflicts with Bhaskar and Babi Aatya.
I am not sure. I am just trying to think about what all that she must have considered before contemplating suicide.
I think it’s quite easy to blame and call out people who attempt suicide but honestly, suicide is one of the most extreme steps that one can take. It demands you to be so vulnerable, helpless and hopeless that you just can’t see any other way out.
Attempting suicide is neither right nor fair – neither to you nor to your loved ones – but it’s hard for me not to empathize with the individuals by imagining what all that they go through before deciding to end their lives.
The struggle, the helplessness, the hopelessness, the dead desire to live, the diminished hope of seeing things getting better, the unbearable pain, the defeated heart urging one to let it stop beating and sleep forever. It’s… heartbreaking.
Bhaskar broke down from within today even though he held himself together from outside. I believed Bhaskar when he confessed in his monologue that he had absolutely no idea that Deepali had any such feelings for him. The man probably really did not.
Like I said above, Deepali either did not accept her feelings or she kept them within her heart if she accepted because she knew that he loved someone else but their life was going just fine for so long that she almost stopped considering the possibility that Babi Aatya could ever come back in Bhaskar’s life.
Deepali – must have never acted in a way – that could give even a hint to Bhaskar about her feelings. Must have never. Rather she must have ensured that he would never figure out that she no longer sees him just as her friend.
When Shashank and everyone else kept asking Bhaskar to go back to complete the wedding – Bhaskar sat there, firm and clear that he wouldn’t. His reaction and stance seemed convincingly natural in the whole episode to me. Sure, it would have taken not more than fifteen minutes for him to go back and get married to Babi Aatya like Shashank said but – but – was he in the mindset to do that at that time when Deepali was battling for her life?
I think, it’s very important to remember here that Deepali is not just his friend. That Deepali is not just the wife of his friend. But she – also is – Ovi’s mother. His daughter’s mother. It was not even something that he could spend a minute deciding. He had to stay with Deepali and Ovi.
The burden of Deepali’s attempt to suicide that he is carrying now – that he has now come to understand that somewhere he is the reason why she did what she did – that burden wouldn’t let him take even a step out of the hospital.
Babi Aatya – My heart breaks for her. More because she had seen this coming from the very beginning. Not the suicide but Deepali’s feelings for Bhaskar. She knew that her entry into Bhaskar’s house might mess things up. Why she kept denying getting married to him for so long but everyone convinced her and when she actually agreed, everything came crashing down. Babi Aatya practically has no fault in anything but she is still taking it upon herself and that is because of the kind of woman that she is. The one to put the others over herself.
Sure, she was upset that her wedding couldn’t happen but more than that, her heart and mind stayed stuck with Deepali’s thoughts. She was more upset that because of her decision to marry Bhaskar, Deepali had to take such an extreme step.
After spending several long years of wait, her love was about to return to her life. Absolute and unfiltered happiness was about to return to her life. It was right in front of her but before she could embrace it – it disappeared, leaving her wondering if it was real or just a mirage.
Who do we blame here? Bhaskar? Deepali? Babi Aatya? Personally, I can’t seem to blame anyone because nobody has maliciously schemed to make anyone’s life a living hell here. Everyone is trapped in their own conflicts, dealing with which is getting as tough as it could have been for everyone.
Kanitkars can be mad at Bhaskar and rightfully so but as a third person who is watching everything from afar and is not related to any of them – I cannot. I can’t see him going back to the wedding in the kind of mindset that he is in right now.
However, I do feel that he could have called Babi Aatya after Dr. Kaushik assured him that Deepali was responding well. The call – I believe – was necessary and he should have made that call to Babi Aatya but I think I should refrain from saying much about it at the moment because I am yet to see the next episode. Who knows he might just make that call in the next episode?
But with or without the call – not even for a minute, I could see him going back to the wedding. This wasn’t really about if it would have taken him five minutes or fifteen to complete the wedding – the situation and the mindset that he was in were bound to restrict him from choosing his happiness over someone’s life. His daughter’s mother is battling for her life. There was no way he could leave the hospital and go back to get married.
What I didn’t see coming was Apurva relating Deepali’s situation to Shashank. It did kind of hit me though. The fact that she is so into Shashank that she was shaken by the mere thought of that what if that came to her mind though.
I think it was in one of the last reviews where I said that I believe that Apurva has already fallen in love with Shashank and if something or someone ever gets her assured that he loves someone else and his happiness is with them – she will readily let him go, gift him a lifetime full of happiness with the one he loves and choose a lifetime full of suffering without the one she loves for herself.
Yet another episode that was pretty heavy on emotions.
Nothing that I say is a fact. It’s just the way I look at the situation and the characters from whatever that I have seen in the episodes so far. Maybe I would modify my perspective when Deepali regains consciousness and shares on her own what exactly has been going on in her mind.
This is just my perspective. You can absolutely have a totally different one. Take what resonates with you. Leave what doesn’t. Feel free to share your perspective. Even if it is a different one, we can always agree to disagree. 💜