“Ishqi.”
“Ishqi.”
“ISHQI.”
“Ha… haan? Kya hai, Ahaan? Chilla kyu rahe hai? Yahi baithi hu na main?” Her annoyed eyes peeked out of her phone after pausing the video that she had been watching – just momentarily – to convey her irritation before she went back to her phone.
His insides burned, watching her all engrossed in her phone. The last hit in the coffin was her awwing at her screen and that was the end of Ahaan Veer Malhotra’s patience.
Reaching the bed in two furious strides, he snatched the phone from her hand. “Alright, that’s enough now!”
“What the fudge!” Her screeching scream had him slap his palm on his ear.
“Stop stealing my lines, will you?” He grabbed her arm with one hand when she launched herself at him to take her phone back and held his other hand that was holding her phone up in the air, out of her reach.
“Mr. Ahaan Veer Malhotra, are you by any chance forgetting ke aap kis se baat kar rahe hai? I am not just Ishqi anymore. It’s Ishqi Ahaan Veer Malhotra now. Aap bhi mere hai aur aapki har baat bhi meri hai. Apni hi cheez koi churata hai bhala? Aur… phone dijiye mera vapas. Ahaaan… I am in the middle of an intense scene. Please.“
She jumped on the bed, pressing her hands on his shoulder. Damn, this man! She was on the bed, and he, on the floor and yet… and yet he was able to keep her phone away from her hands. Ugh. She groaned in frustration when despite her several attempts, he didn’t let her hand catch the phone.
A chuckle.
A giggle.
His weird smile to himself got her to narrow her eyes at him. Putting her hands on her waist, she darted him a glare. “What is so funny?”
It took him quite a while to suppress his laughter. “Tumne kiss kaha!” He mimicked the intoxicated Ishqi from the party night at the poolside, chuckling to himself recalling those moments.
Ye joke kahi to suna hai par kahan? Ugh. He is distracting you, you fool. Focus on the phone.
“Baat badalne ki koshish mat kijiye.”
“Mujhe zaroorat bhi nahi hai and I ain’t the one to forget who you are, Mrs. Malhotra but you have been certainly forgetting that a lot these days.”
“Kuch bhi!” She rolled her eyes, that still stayed stuck on her phone. Her mind began scheming against her husband, who, for now, was her enemy. Keeping her away from the show she had lost her heart to.
“Ahaan, please… Baad me baat karte hai na? Sanyukta abhi jump karne wali hai. Dekhne dijiye na.” Her lips formed the cutest pout they could as she leaned forward, pressing her lips on his cheek.
He stood dazed, lost in the soft caress of her lips on his cheek. Despite completing over two years of their marriage, somehow she still always managed to do that to him.
Ishqi effect, indeed!
Mission accomplished. She quickly finished her happy dance in her mind, grinning at his closed eyes, and carefully leaned forward to take advantage of the situation she herself had schemed to create.
Almost there. Yes. You got it. Just a little more. She had almost gotten her hand on her phone when he jumped back on his feet leaving her visibly whining.
It happened almost in the blink of her eye that he took her hands off his shoulder and shifted away that it took her a moment or two to realize that… her phone was gone.
“We are too old in this relationship for you to try such lame tricks and more, even expecting me to fall for them. I expect better from you, Mrs. Malhotra.” He swayed her phone in front of her, teasing her – adding fuel to the already ignited fire.
She stomped her foot. Ugh. Don’t blame him, you fool. It’s your fault. You have been rubbing off your smartness on him. Warna AVM aur itna smart… hmph!
That cheeky smile of his was just so ugh!
“Ahaan!”
“Ishqi!”
“Ugh!”
“Bas ab band karo apna drama.” He turned around and dropped the phone in the drawer.
Her eyes caught it in a fraction of a second and she ran toward it like a maniac.
To her misfortune, that was exactly when he shifted a bit and turned around. Her speed was uncontrollable and she ran straight into him causing her head to bump into his chest.
“Ow. What the fudge!” Exasperation deepened in his orbs to see her unremitting struggle to reach her phone. Search that. Reach him.
Him. That freaking celebrity actor! Param Singh Bhatia. His hand clenched in a fist, gritting his teeth.
“Stop.” His stern voice boomed in their quiet bedroom when she tried to escape down his shoulder to reach the drawer. Circling his hands around her waist, he pulled her onto him in one swift pull. “Stop, okay? I haven’t said anything for the whole last week. Don’t try my patience.”
“Kya? Maine kiya kya hai?”
“Tumne kiya kya hai? You seriously need to ask that? Wow, Ishqi. Amazing. Matlab ek random actor ke kiye tum mujhe bhul gayi? For the past whole damn week, you been watching that stupid show… what was it? Sadda Haq, right? Even that is fine, but if you think I am going to tolerate this… this love and admiration in your eyes for that… that damn Param Singh whatever – you are wrong.”
His hold tightened around her waist as her chuckle provoked his rage.
“Bohot hasi aa rahi hai?” His lips brushed against her ear and while he was expecting her to rejoice in the romantic moment he was trying to create that they had missed out on for a whole long week – all thanks to that Sadda Haq and Param Singh Bhatia – she burst out laughing.
Her uncontrollable laughter was beyond her capacity to suppress. Slipping off his hold, she was on the floor, rolling down and laughing while her husband watched her, amused.
“Aap… aap…. possessive… ho rahe hai?”
He heard her question in parts in between her laughter. She made it sound as if it was the most ridiculous thing in existence.
“Main? Main possessive ho raha hu?” He gave her a long stare before leaning against the table behind him, crossing his hands to his chest. “Haan, ho raha hu. To? Apni wife ke liye possessive ho raha hu. Apni Ex-girlfriend ke liye nahi jo tum mujhe ye aise… weird expressions de rahi ho. Tumhare liye possessive ho raha hu. Rhea ke liye nahi. Usme bhi problem hai?”
What the fudge! The smile that had appeared on his face thinking that it was probably enough to get her running to hug him faded to see his expectations dying a brutal death for his words had only escalated her laughter.
By then, she was entirely out of control. Her laugh made him recall his words for a second. Did he mess up? Heck, he didn’t. He was sure that he hadn’t said a single comical word to bring that kind of reaction out of her.
“Are jaiye jaiye. Kartik ke sath ghanto maine yahi baate ki hai. Thanks to him, aapka koi raaz raaz nahi bacha, Mr. Aashiq Veer Malhotra. Rhea ke saath the tab bhi Ishqi Ishqi karte the. Ab Ishqi ke sath hai tab bhi Ishqi Ishqi karte hai. Rhea Rhea to jaane do aapse kabhi bhi koi aur naam nahi jaayega. Aapke bas ki hi nahi hai, AVM. Chaahe aap kahi bhi ho, kisi ke bhi saath ho – aap hamesha Ishqi Ishqi hi karenge. Waise galti aapki nahin hai. That’s Ishqi effect for you.”
He gaped at the level of confidence his woman had in him. Had he really made himself that obvious? His mind recalled the past two years he had spent with her and he couldn’t think of a single time he had allowed her a single chance to get jealous.
For him, it was always Ishqi.
At home, at the office.
She was the only one he would miss.
Damn you, AVM! What was the need to be this predictable?
He let out a sigh, before he sat down beside her, slapping his palms on his face.
“Haaye mere cutu!” She shifted closer, pinching the cheeks of her husband who was just too naive and adorable for his own bad.
He pushed her hands down as his otherwise handsome face hung dull.
Damn. He looks really upset.
She needed to stop, she sighed. Encircling her arms around his neck, she pulled him in a hug ignoring his attempts of getting away. “Fine. I am sorry. I know, iss hafte main thoda busy ho gayi thi -“
“Thoda?” He sharply cut her off, his sarcasm making her roll her eyes.
“Bohot. Khush?”
“Better. And busy? Doing what? Going gaga over some stupid actor?”
“AVM, don’t! Param ke bare me main kuch bura nahi sunne wali. Chahe to mujhe do taane aur maar lijiye but unhe kuch mat kehna.”
He was just calming himself when her warning infuriated him again.
“Ishqi, now it’s getting too much, okay? Stop. Now.”
“Paused hi to hai episode,” she murmured to herself.
“Episode. Episode. Tumhe abhi bhi uss episode ki padi hai!” Rage seeped through his veins. He jerked her hands off, standing up. Roughly pulling out the drawer open, he grabbed her phone and threw it in her lap. “Lo. Dekhlo. After all, that show and your darling Param matter more than I do, right?”
Her eyes twinkled at having her phone back. Control, Ishqi. He is mad. Sabar kar thoda.
Picking her phone, she rose to her feet. “Aisa kuch nahi hai. Just that the episode is interesting. Randhir ne apni feelings na accept ki hai na confess. Iss episode me they have to set up a trampoline. And someone has to jump… itni uchai se. Agar trampoline sahi se nahi bana to… anything can happen. Randhir ne bohot koshish ki use rokne ki par wo nahi ruki. Pata nahi kitni haddiya tootegi.” Nervousness took over her making her bite her nails.
“Mujhe pata hai!”
Huh? Surprise replaced the nervousness in her eyes. “Aapko pata hai? Kaise? Kitni? Haww. Aapne ye show dekha hai? Wa. Khud dekh liya aur mujhe nahi dekhne de -“
“Shh,” he stepped toward her, covering her mouth with his palm, “chup. Kitna bolti ho tum! Kuch nahi dekha hai maine. Aur na hi mujhe koi interest hai uss… uss Param whatever ko dekhne me.” He let go of her upon her constant struggle.
“To batayiye kitni haddiyan tootegi?”
“Ek bhi nahi.”
Hearing him say it as a matter of fact earned him a suspicious glare from her side. She poked his arm with her forefinger. “Aapko kaise pata?”
“Uss din tumne bataya tha wo usse pyaar karta hai. Agar sach me karta hai to chaahe jo karna pade, Sankyuta ki ek bhi haddi nahi tootegi. Khud ki tudwa lega par usko kharoach tak nahi aane dega. Aur agar smart hai, to khud ki haddiya bhi bacha lega. And, I remember, you mentioning – he is a genius. So… ek bhi haddi nahi tootegi!” He shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head at his wife who he believed lacked common sense at times.
“Wahh, AVM! Aap to Randhir ko mujhse bhi zada samajhte hai! Kahi wo aapka secret crush to nahi, hmm? Boliye boliye!”
“What nonsense! Secret crush, my foot!”
“Accha. Ab main dekhlu please? Mera B.P. badh raha hai sochke ke kya wo bacha payega use!”
“Bacha hi lega.”
“Aapko bada confidence hai? Accha ek baat bataiye, agar main Sanyukta ke jagah hoti aur aap Randhir ki… to aap kya karte?”
“Main trampoline hi tod deta.”
“Haww. Aapko khud pe thoda bhi yakeen nahin hai?”
“Mera khud pe yakeen kabhi bhi itna bada nahi ho sakta ke main tumhe consciously and deliberately kisi khatre me daalu. Main kabhi chance hi nahi leta. Jitni marzi apni nails se mujhe scratch karleti tab bhi nahi. Main tumhe jump karne hi nahi deta. Aur jaao, dekhlo. But remember, Ishqi – tumhara ye obsession Randhir tak rahe to hi accha hai. Agar, agar ye obsession Randhir se Param tak gaya – to…”
“To kya? Aap bhi koi Sanyukta dhoond lenge?”
“Nahi. Randhir ko Sanyukta ke sath khush rehne do,” he enveloped her in his warm embrace, “aur Ahaan ko apni Ishqi ke saath!”
Iss jagah aa gayi, chahatein ab meri,
Chheen lunga tumhe, saari duniya se hi!
Tere ishq pe haan, haq mera hi toh hai,
Keh diya hai ye maine mere rab se bhi!
Drama – Ishk Par Zor Nahi
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