The chapter contains content that may be triggering or sensitive to some individuals. Reader discretion is advised.

In my desperation to move on from you, I grew closer to him. Who knew he would leave me more miserable than you did?

Netra’s confession caused Shashank to shift uncomfortably in his place. He wasn’t responsible for her condition, was he? Before he could battle the guilt, his fiancée’s once uttered words came rushing to his rescue. 

You can fall in love with anyone, Khadoos. Anyone can fall in love with you as well but we cannot force someone to love us back. Sure, we may deeply desire that but we don’t get to blackmail/threaten them for the same. If you get hurt in your one-sided love, can you really hold the other person accountable for it? 

Listen, Khadoos… everything on one side and the fact that you have done nothing to feel guilty about on the other. What have you even done? You were just being yourself all along. She fell in love with you which none of us can blame her for. Love is not a sin, Khadoos but Netra Tai committing sins out of her one-sided love for you is. 

Tightening his loosened grip on his emotions, he sat firm but before he could confront her, he heard her apologize. 

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I feel you’ve misunderstood me,” she began as she rose from the chair. “I’ve never blamed you for my heartbreak but it doesn’t mean that my heart did not break.” 

“Can you get to the point?” 

She let out a sarcastic chuckle while walking toward the small bookshelf in her room. “If you weren’t genuine about wanting to lend me an ear, you shouldn’t have pretended to be in the first place.” 

Pretended? He pinched the bridge of his nose, taking off his glasses. He was about to put them back when his eyes snapped in the direction of the sudden noise that hit his ears. 

He caught a book that was on the floor along with some pictures that fell out of it. Must have been accidental. He wore his glasses, making the face in those pictures clearer to his eyes. 

It was him. 

His stunned gaze met her guilty one before she hurriedly sat on her toes, her clumsy hands trying to hide the pictures back in the book. 

“N-Net-Netra…” Murmuring her name was all that he could do upon watching her shoulders tremble with silent sobs with her palms tightly pressed on her face after she broke down into tears. 

His hesitant hand kept reaching out to console her and stopping midway. Not knowing what to do, he felt stuck. The only thing that he knew was that he couldn’t get mad at her for secretly keeping his pictures even if that was the only thing that could come naturally to him at that moment.

He did not even know when she clicked them to begin with but her cries held his hands. He sighed as he approached her. “Tu please radu nako. Mi kahich mhanat nahiye.”

“I am not… I am not crying because I a-am afraid you’ll scold me,” she whispered in between her sobs, pulling her hands down from her face.

Oh, what a relief! But why was she crying then? He sat on the chair near her, asking, “mag? He bagh, radlyaane kuthlehi problems sutat nastaat. Aapan bolun kahi solution kadhnyacha prayatna karu shakto.”

“Solution?” Furiosly wiping the fresh stream of tears that rolled down her cheeks, she painfully laughed. “Tumhi kaadhu shaktaa? Karan mazyakadun tari nahi nighat aahe. 2 mahine zale tya divsala jya divshi mala samajla ki tumhi maze kadhich honaar nahi. Kiti kay kay kela mi tumhala visraysaathi pan upayog? Kahich zala nahi. Chiraag sobat mi itke divas bolat hoti pan eka kshanasathi-hi mi tyala tumchi jaga deu shakle nahi. Kay karu mi, Shashank Sir? Saanga na…” She wept, drawing her knees to her chest to bury her face in them.

And at that moment, Shashank couldn’t help but wish that he was a heartless robot. At least that way, he wouldn’t have been sucked into her pain. But the fact that he was a human with a heart made it impossible for him to sit indifferent. 

He had tried so hard to forget everything that she had said to him two months ago but it still haunted him in his nightmares every once in a while. He had never mentioned it to Apurva, afraid that it might upset her but getting out of the shackles of Netra’s miseries that existed because of him seemed beyond his ability. 

Kadachit tumhi nahi samju shaknaar, Sir pan jyanna tyanchya hakkacha prem kadhich milalela nasta tyanna te hiskavun ghyayla shikayla laagta. Lahaan astana hya… tumchya hya honarya bayko ne nahi mazya aai la hiskavun ghetla mazyapasun? Jar mi chukichi aahe tar ti barobar kashi hoti, Sir?

Kay nahi aahe asa mazyaat, Sir? Ka konachyach premavar hakka nahiye maza? Ka tumchya premavar hakka nahiye maza?

He wondered if he could take back his offer, knowing he didn’t have a solution to her problems. 

The love that had been so beautiful for him and Apurva was the same love that had left Netra insufferable and he couldn’t understand why it was supposed to be that way.  Why couldn’t everyone be happy? Why did his and Apurva’s happiness mean Netra’s suffering? Why were their lives linked?

“I can only say… I’m sorry,” he said after she calmed down a bit. He had brought her a glass of water and he was glad that she did not make things more difficult for him by refusing it. 

“You don’t have to,” she said, wiping her face dry to make sure there were no tears on her cheeks. She looked a lot better after venting. “I am sorry you had to see this. I just couldn’t control myself.”

“What does that guy want from you?” he asked, getting back to the original topic that he was there for.

“What else? He just wants me in his bed,” she answered in a voice as nonchalant as she could muster. “That is the only thing he has been saying ever since we met in person.”

Caught off-guard, he struggled to come up with a response. His blank stare at her continued as he desperately searched for the right words to say. “And I suppose you don’t want to, so why is he persisting?”

“Isn’t persisting quite mild for his actions? You saw what he sent me. Doesn’t he look a bit more than just persisting? He is threatening me. At this point, I can’t even understand why I had started talking to him in the first place but well, he pretended well, I guess.”

“Why not file a police complaint?”

She hummed, acknowledging his suggestion. “I would have… long ago… if I could.”

“What do you mean?”

“Chiraag has political connections. Involving cops would only worsen things for me. He’ll only get more aggressive.”

Absorbing the pieces of information she was revealing was tough for him. Certainly, she was in serious trouble and he couldn’t not get concerned but his blank mind couldn’t think of anything helpful to say. Perhaps, it was just all too sudden for him to process. “So, what are you planning to do?”

“Make him understand till he understands…”

She suddenly sounded too casual for his liking. “Aren’t you afraid that he might harm you?” he asked, pointing to the box that was in a corner of her room. “Didn’t that doll scare you? That note… does it really not bother you?”

She gave him a small smile before nodding. “How can it not? Of course, it does but there are very limited choices that I can make here. I know for a fact that I am on my own, Shashank Sir. Even if I am scared, I’ve got only myself. I know what you’re thinking. Mi aata radat hoti aani aata ashi boltey jasa mala farak ch nahi padat. This might make you uncomfortable but I cried because of you. Not because of Chiraag. It is only when it comes to you that I cannot control my emotions. I can manage the rest just fine.”

He remained quiet for a few moments. Was she just putting on a brave face in front of him? 

“I already feel better after talking to you,” she said after his features grew more worried. “I would appreciate it if you don’t get yourself involved. Chiraag knows about my feelings for you. If he sees you with me, I’m afraid he’ll do something reckless.”

“Worry about yourself, Netra. I can take care of myself,” he reminded her in a gentle tone. 

“It’ll be on me if he hurts you because of me,” she said. 

Shashank tried explaining to Netra that entertaining Chiraag could land her in serious trouble but all in vain. His repeated attempts to convince her to file a police complaint were dismissed by her. 

That was when he decided to leave. She was an adult anyway. He had stepped up to help because he thought she needed it but he saw no point in interfering against her will. Neither was it his responsibility nor was it his right to dictate how she should lead her life. 

“Tumhala watatay titka sopa nahiye, police complaint na karnyacha fakta Chiraag che connections he ek karan nahi aahe,” she said, bringing him a glass of water after the long discussion they had, “police complaint karna mhanje he matter mazya gharaparyant jaail aani Baba aani Aaji mala saral parat gheun jaatil. Mala job suddha sodava laagel.”

Her reasoning was undoubtedly convincing. He remembered Apurva’s father mentioning to him how conservative the paternal side of Netra’s family was. 

“I would have lost my sanity long ago had it not been for my work. At this point, if I have to quit my job, I don’t know what I’ll do.” She made no attempt to hide her distress. 

Without touching the water she had brought for him, he stood up. “Alright.”

“One last thing…”

He heard her when he grabbed his bag from the couch to leave. 

“Can you keep this between us?”

His eyebrow lifted in confusion but he knew precisely what she was referring to. 

“If Apurva comes to know about this, eventually Sartika Vartak will also know and then she’ll pester me to stay with her. I’ve no energy for that emotional drama.”

“Don’t you think it would be good for you to stay with her for some time?” he suggested. 

She wordlessly led him out. “You don’t come from a dysfunctional family so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you don’t know I’d prefer suffering than living with that woman.”

End of the flashback…

“I’m sorry…”

Shashank’s apology fell into Apurva’s ears right after he reached the end of the day when he began lying to her. “So you also thought that I would have involved Atti?”

He shook his head. He knew explaining things to her was going to be difficult. 

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

After a brief moment of silence, he admitted, “I… because I had promised her.”

“What about the promise that you had made to me, Khadoos?”

Do leave your comments behind. None of you believe that what Netra is saying can actually be true?