Set in the pre-wedding phase. The wedding gets postponed for six months here and thus, everything that we saw Netra doing after Shashank and Apurva’s marriage in the show – she does it here before that. You’ll know the rest as you read.  

| Part Eleven |

What have I done? What have I even done to be an exception? To be… special? His questions were valid but the answers to them seemed beyond his reach. He could only look at her and silently beg to enlighten him more. 

“This is just a matter of being under the same roof. Even if we needed to share a bed, I wouldn’t mind!”

He hadn’t even recovered from the first shock and she attacked him with another bomb. No, no, no. Things were getting a bit too overwhelming for him to handle. What was she even saying? How could she say what she was saying? 

“Tula kaltay tu kay bolteyes te?” he asked, not shying away from considering that Apurva Vartak could actually be far from the gravity of the words that were coming out of her mouth. “Hyala mi mhanu tar kay mhanu? Tuza baalishpana? Tuza avichari swabhav ki-“

“Maza vishwas mhan. Chaalel mala,” she said, cutting him off, “maza tuzyavar aslela vishwas!” She knew she was messing it up for herself. 

He had no idea what he was supposed to say anymore. Who knew someone could hold him tongue-tied like that? 

“Tu te… goshta kahitari mhanat hota…”

Oh, how truly glad he was to have her change the topic! The emotions that she was evoking within him were getting tough to deal with. 

“Ha-haan…” He gave her a nod, signaling her to lay back. Her strength amazed him. She was dead exhausted, he knew but not a single complaining word had come out of her mouth. 

Mi uthlo nasto tar kharach raatrabhar basnaar hotis?

Kadachit!

He stared at her while she was adjusting the pillow under her head after lying down, recalling how she had admitted that she would have sat for the entire night if that meant he could peacefully sleep. 

“Maza ek mitra hota-I mean aahe…” he began once she was settled, “aamhi shaalet sobat hoto. Tase aamhi khup vegle hoto ekmekanpeksha pan baryapaiki pataycha aamcha!”

She hummed, her ears intently focused on his words. 

“Nantar barich varsha aamcha samparka navta. Kahi mahinyan-purvi achanak aamchi eka hospital madhe bhet zali. His wife has been in a persistent vegetative state. Jevha aamhi bhetlo hoto tevha almost 6 mahine zale hote aata javal javal ek varsha zala asel.” He needed a moment before he could continue as talking about it brought back his memories from that particular hospital visit. 

She straightened up despite his repeated attempts to force her not to. 

Persistent vegetative state! She remembered having heard the term before. After putting some pressure on her brain, she recalled having overheard her father discussing it with Dr. Metkar. 

Awake but wouldn’t respond. She was sure about that but no more details. 

“Tula mahiti aahe, Apurva, mala kadhich… kadhich premacha aakarshan navta. Mi kadhi vicharach kela nahi. Na mazyakade vel hota na tyaat farsa ras!” He admitted, not hiding that he had never allowed the word love to take over his mind. “Pan Pratik la bhetlyavar baryach goshti badal-lya.” 

She grabbed the pillow behind her back and placed it in her lap, suddenly feeling the need to distract herself. What was he getting at? What was he talking about?  

“Sai… Pratik’s wife… nobody knows when she’ll respond… if she’ll respond but Pratik is determined to fight till the very end. Till there is hope,” he said, a strange pride and admiration in his eyes for his friend’s relentless efforts, “and even when there is… none.“

Her sweaty palms fisted the bedsheet. The mere thought of someone’s suffering of that kind was heartbreaking for her. 

“They were expecting a child when this happened. I don’t know the details. I didn’t dare to ask him either.” Goosebumps crawled on his skin. “They lost the baby too.” His hand went to his chest as he rubbed his thumb in a circular motion to ease the anxiety that was creeping in. 

He hadn’t expected himself to be that out of control while talking about it but then again when had he talked about it before to know what all that it would trigger? She was the first person to hear about his friend’s devastating story from his mouth. 

“You know… Pratik has brought Sai’s parents to his house. Now, Pratik and Sai’s parents live together. Pratik has rented a room near the hospital where Sai is just so that he can reduce the transportation time to spend more time with her.” 

She let out the breath that she was holding, sensing that fate’s cruelty was more horrifying than she had thought of it to be. 

“Pratik still continues to message Sai despite knowing that he might never get a reply. Her phone lies in the drawer of her room in the hospital. He goes to meet her every day before going to and returning from his office.” 

His moistened eyes were the mirror for her to see the glimpse of deep anguish in them. 

He quickly wiped the corner of his eyes. “What’s interesting and actually incredible is… Pratik hasn’t lost his sanity. He is well aware of the fact that someday, he might have to pull the plug and his hope would be snatched away from him but he… he is not going to let it defeat his love. I still remember his words-” he paused, closing his eyes, letting his mind replay the flashback, “-ti ithe nasel jari tari ti mazich rahnaar aahe aani ti mazi astana… mi ajun konacha houch shaknaar nahi. Mi kayam tichach asel… Mi aseparyant ti mazyaat jivant asel aani jar mrutypalikade kharach ek jag asta… tar mi ithe naslyavar aamhi tithe sobat asu.“

She pressed her palm on her eyes to soak her tears before they could be visible to him. 

He pulled her hand down from her face by leaning forward. Letting his hand slip to her palm, he intertwined their fingers. “Pratik la bhetlo tevhapasun ek kalala… mala prem… asa havay nahitar nakoy. Mhanun mala tuzyashi lagna karaycha navta. Aaplyatla farak, aaple matbhed hi sagli karna hotich pan saglyaat mahattvacha karan… he hota!”

She sat motionless, her one hand still holding the bedsheet in her fist. What was he trying to say? That she wasn’t worth a love like that of Pratik and Sai’s? 

He couldn’t decipher what he saw in her eyes that night. He wasn’t sure if it was his heart that had been exhausted upon revisiting Pratik’s nightmarish reality or his blurry vision from the unshed tears in his eyes. 

She tried to excuse herself from him but just as she attempted to free her hand, he made the struggle real. Her eyes couldn’t even lift at him to confront why he wasn’t letting her go. 

She felt like crying. He was making it harder for her than it already was. She needed to get out of the room right at that instant. 

Why was she being such an emotional mess that night? Was it Pratik’s story? Was it Risha’s story? Was it her own story? What the heck was it? She suddenly wanted to check her period calendar to see if it was her premenstrual phase that was the culprit. 

His cough that appeared out of nowhere broke the sickening silence. Alarmed, she shifted closer to rub his back before reaching for the glass of water, “Thik aahe?” she asked after his coughing subsided. 

He hummed, wondering if she hadn’t realized how close she had brought herself to him in the process of helping his cough. She had left her weight on her knees so that she could reach his back. Her face still stayed inches away from his and her hands rested on his shoulders.

The look in his eyes seemed to have made her aware of their proximity which she had been oblivious to. She acted the fastest that she could to separate herself from him and dragged herself back to her place. 

“What you feel about love sounds unshakeable, Khadoos. Aaplya lagnaala ka ho mhanalas?” It came out more of an accusation than a question. 

Almost… why did you get me into this? Why couldn’t you stick to your no? Because if you had, there was no way with which I would have been here! 

Here… in the middle of this staircase that closes the entry point once you start climbing…

the staircase with the handrail of the velvety petals of her Khadoos’s soft gestures that helped her stabilize herself whenever she stumbled… 

the staircase with the firm steps of her Khadoos’s support that had been there whenever she needed it… 

the staircase that led her to him… 

to her Khadoos!

Where was she supposed to go from here?

“Tula nahi mahit mi ka ho mhanalo?”

His question in response to her question snapped her back to reality. Oh, of course, she knew. 

“Kiti convince karaycha prayatna kela hota mi tula ki tu nahi mhan mhanun…” he said, unaware of the attacks his words were making on her heart, “pan mag tu to contract gheun aalis aani…” 

“And it sounded convenient to you,” she added the rest of the words to his statement. 

“It did,” he said, nodding, “paryaay kay hota dusra!” 

“Ghari sagle far sad zale astil na Pratik aani Sai baddal aikun…” she asked, swiftly changing the subject to protect her heart from falling apart. She was well aware of the fact that though she had called him a hypocrite a while ago, she was being the real hypocrite now. 

Wasn’t she adamant about not wanting to fall in love with him or anyone to protect her heart from the pain of loss after hearing Risha’s story? Why was her heart breaking now to hear that probably he wasn’t keen on falling for her in the first place? The mention of their marriage being fixed against his wish hurt. She seemed to have forgotten that it was against her wish as well. 

It was though. Things had changed for her. 

He did say that he likes me. Her hope was still loud. That means nothing. Maybe he just likes me as a person. Like tar kay aapan konala hi karu shakto. She sighed at the conclusion that she had reached. 

“Nobody knows!”

Confusion appeared in her orbs when his answer hit her ears. “What do you mean?”

“Nobody knows.” 

Having him repeat those two words did not help much until she realized what they meant. “Mhanje he… tu konalach sangitlela nahiye?” 

He shook his head, confirming it. 

“Mag mala ka sangitlas?” 

He had already seen her question coming so it didn’t surprise him. 

“You want to know why I’m telling you this?” His softened voice was back and so was her gaze on him. “This is to tell you that you can’t let your fears be stronger than your love, Apurva. Pratik la baghun kalala… prem kiti moulyawan asta tyamule jevha te aaplya samor ubha asta tevha daar banda karaycha nasta. Of course, you’re right when you say haatat aslela kshan to fakta aapla asto aani yenara kshan aaplyasathi kay aanel he konich sangu shakat nahi pan… shareerala maryaada astaat, Apurva, premala nahi. Mrutyu fakt shareer neu shakto, prem nahi!”

“Paani deu?” he asked, tucking the hair strands on her cheek behind her ear as she sat beside him on the bed with her head on his shoulder. 

They had silently taken a short break from the intense conversation they had engaged in. 

“Ek prashna vicharu?” she asked, staring at nothing in particular in front of her. 

He hummed. 

“Tula tuzya shaalet, college madhe, institute madhe… kadhich… konich aawadla nahi? Like not even one girl?“

Her emphasis on his institute made him roll his eyes. Did she think that he wouldn’t know what she was trying to know? 

“Saangitla na, navta mala far ras premaat! Does that make me an alien in your eyes?” 

She frowned at his sarcasm. “Not exactly but…” She ignored it for the time being when a more important question came to her mind. “Khadoos… jar tu kharach konachya premaat padlaas tar? 

“Tar mi ticha haat kadhich sodnaar nahi!” He stared down at her hand that he had been holding ever since she put her head on his shoulder. “Pan jar tila sodaycha asel tar-“

“Samja tila hi sodaycha nasel tar?” Her next question was ready. 

“Mag kuthlihi goshta, vyakti kiva paristhiti aamchya samor aali… aamhala vegla karayla aali tar tila maghaar patkarun mage hatayla laagel karan jinku ti… kadhich shaknaar nahi!” 

When she went silent for the next couple of moments, his mind automatically started wondering what had come to her mind. 

“Aani samja jasa Pratik aani Sai sobat zala tasa kahi tyanchya sobat zala tar? Sai sarkha tila kahi zala tar?”

“Tila kahihi honar nahi!” His response was immediate, laced with an urgency that he couldn’t fight. “Pan tyala zala tar-“

“Tyala kahihi honar nahi!” Her loud tone which almost came like a warning made him shut his eyes. 

“Pan samja zala tar?”

“Pan samja zala tar?”

They asked in unison, making their surprised heads turn to each other. He quickly looked away while she placed her head back where it was. 

“I don’t mind admitting that I hate to imagine this,” he said, visibly distressed, “pan jar samjha kahi zalach tar tichya aathvaninsobat to tyachi pratyek ratra kadhu shakel!” 

“Aani tyachya premasaobat ti ticha pratyek divas!” Her response was smoother than she had intended to make it. Not that she had much control over it anyway. Her heart had warned her mind to not interfere that night. “Pan jar tila kahi zala tar tila watel ki tyaane move on karava.” 

She looked at him when the next thirty seconds passed in silence and caught him smiling. 

“For someone to move on, he needs to be stuck first.”

Her confused self demanded an explanation. 

“Ayushya tar chalatach raahnaar aahe aani to hi. Jar ti tyachya bajula chalu shakat nasel tar to tila tyachya hrudayaat gheun chaalel pan chaalel kayam tichyasobatach! Kayam… tichyasobatach!”

“Pan jar samjha kahi zalach tar tichya aathvaninsobat to tyachi pratyek ratra kadhu shakel!”
“Aani tyachya premasaobat ti ticha pratyek divas!”

While coping with losses, everyone’s way is different but a section of people chooses to immerse themselves in what they know will completely occupy their mind for that period. Why Shashank mentions nights because he would manage the days in his institute since he has shown to be a workaholic while Apurva mentions days because she might end up immersing herself in studies and work that she truly despises because he would have wanted that. 

I am surprised that I could actually bring you this part today itself. Do let me know what you feel about this one. <3

I thrive on feedback so please don’t hesitate to share your views in the comment section. <3

I N D E X

Part One

Part Two  

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

Part Nine

Part Ten

Part Eleven

Part Twelve