Khadoos – I Miss You – One Shot – Thipkyanchi Rangoli

This is a one shot – a piece of fanfiction – written on the characters, Shashank and Apurva from the show named Thipkyanchi Rangoli that airs on Star Pravah from Monday to Saturday at 10 p.m.

This is from the farmhouse track. This piece picks after Shashank gets to know that Apurva has a fever. 

Damn, this woman! Why did she have to go to that freaking farmhouse even after knowing that I wasn’t joining? Now she is sick over there and I don’t know why I am dying over here. Great. Just brilliant! Congratulations, Mrs. Apurva Vartak Kanitkar for successfully driving a sane, sorted and intelligent scientist absolutely insane. Congratulations! He kicked his bed, letting his raging frustration out.

Her absence was getting restless ever since she left but the moment the news reached him that she had a fever, his heart was being a firm rebel, forcing him to rush to her right at that moment. 

His restless hand grabbed his phone for yet another time. Having a word with Dr. Kaushik had just infuriated him rather than relaxing him like what he had hoped before making a call to him.

He couldn’t fathom how exactly Dr. Kaushik could be so casual when his daughter was burning in 105 fever.  

Not my concern. Not my concern. He chanted, firmly telling himself that what Dr. Kaushik was doing wasn’t something that he should bother about and rather, he should bother about his wife that he could already imagine being in distress and that mere sight was enough to unsettle him.

Should I call Apurva? He questioned himself but was quick to discard it. No. No. She must be sleeping.  He reasoned to himself. 

But what if the fever isn’t letting her sleep? If you can’t physically reach her right at this moment even if that’s the only thing that you want to do then you can at least call her and see how she is. His heart made an earnest attempt to convince him to dial his wife’s number. 

He had just clicked on her name in his contact list and was about to hit the dial button when his brain screamed.  STOP. What are you doing? Didn’t Kukki say that the fever is too high for her to talk to anyone? Quietly sleep here and let her sleep there. 

Dejected, he nodded because his brain made sense. Like always.  

Visibly tormented, he plopped down on the bed. Before he could put the phone aside, his heart whispered, “But will she be able to sleep without her teddy?” 

His heart’s question held his hand still in the air, making him tighten his hold around his phone. 

Will she be able to sleep without her teddy? 

The question kept ringing in his ears. Vigorously rubbing his forehead, he couldn’t resist silently yelling at himself. 

Why did you let her go alone? Either you should have gone with her or you shouldn’t have let her go but you did nothing. All that you did was watch her go. Idiot. Now bear the repercussions of the choice that you had made. 

He stared at his phone for a long moment before putting the battle of his heart versus his brain to an end, letting his heart defeat his brain. Without a moment of delay, he dialed her number and anxiously paced back and forth, hoping that he would at least get to hear her voice.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she stared at the hand of his T-shirt that she had cuddled closer, hoping it would diminish her longing for him but all in vain. The empty space beside her only intensified her misery. Neither her heart could stop weeping nor her eyes could stop crying. 

She had let the despair consume her so much that she did not even hear her ringing phone.

He was growing restless with every passing second, silently hoping that she would pick up. 

She is probably sleeping. He concluded with a heavy heart and was just about to pull the phone down from his ear when the call was received. 

“Khadoos.”

Before he could say even a word, he heard her whisper his name followed by her sobs, alarming him. 

“अपूर्वा काय… काय होतय? तू रडतेस? तू रडतेस! पण का? सांग मला काय झालय! ताप वाढलाय का? ( Hey. Hey. Apurva… What, what happened? Are you crying? Of course you are. Tell me what happened. Has the fever increased?)” Panicked, he bombarded her with a series of questions. 

“कोण ताप? ( Fever who?)” she asked in between her sobs.

He pulled the phone away from his ear for a moment, darting a glance at it. डोक्यात गेलाय का इच्या ताप? कोण ताप काय विचारतेय ही? ( Has the fever gone to her head? What is she even asking? )

“Khadoos…”

He immediately put the phone back to his ear, hearing her call for him. “Yes, Yes, I am right here. What do you mean by fever who? You have a fever, no? 105?”

Dammit! She sat up straight on her bed. Slapping her forehead several times, she reminded herself of what she had clearly forgotten.  

“ताप… हो… ताप आलाय! ( Fever… ah, yes. I have a fever.)” She squeezed her eyes shut, having no choice but to continue Kukki’s plan. 

“आता कसं वाटतय? बरं वाटतय का? ( How are you feeling now? Any better?)”

“नाही. ( No.)” A fresh stream of tears rolled down her cheeks as she truthfully admitted. I am not okay. I am not okay. I am not okay without you, Khadoos.  I am not okay.

“नाही? असं कसं? बरं तू गोळ्या घेतल्यास का? काही आराम वाटतोय का? Dr. Kaushik असे कसे गेले तुला अश्या अवस्थेत सोडून? ( No? But why? Did you take the medicines? Are they providing any relief? How could Dr. Kaushik leave you in such condition?)” 

Hearing that she wasn’t feeling better just added to his woes, making him lose his cool to the extent where he did not even realize that he was the only one blabbering and there was absolute silence on the other end. 

“Hello? Apurva? You there?” He pulled the phone to the front to check if it got disconnected but the call was on.

“Right now, I am but you are making me want to hang up.”

He heard her feebly confess, almost instantly making him regret his blabbering. “Sorry. Sorry. I am sorry but don’t hang up, okay?” He urged, not bothering about the desperation that he was putting out there for her to see.

“Okay,” she murmured, suppressing her sobs as she hugged his T-Shirt. 

“Stop crying first. Apurva. I said… stop crying. Please?” He clenched his fist when he heard her sobbing after a couple of seconds of silence. 

One of the feelings that he absolutely loathed was helplessness and that was exactly what his wife made him feel. Every now and then. “Please stop crying and tell me, what’s wrong? Are you crying because of the fever?” 

“No.” 

The response was quicker than he had expected. He heaved a sigh of relief at the fact that she was at least responding. “Okay, then tell me, what is wrong? Did you eat?”

She hummed. 

“Good.” He tilted his wrist to check for the time. “It’s quite late though. Kukki told me that you had medicines and were sleeping but it doesn’t seem like you were sleeping. Struggling to sleep without the teddy?”

“Struggling to sleep without you,” she whispered before she slammed the phone on the bed and broke down into tears in front of his T-shirt.  

Taken aback by her confession, it took him a moment or two to let it sink in that she actually admitted that him not being around was affecting her. In a bad way, perhaps. 

“Apurva,” he helplessly murmured as his leg found his bed to kick again. Just why… just why did he let her go? “I am sorry,” he apologized but she wasn’t on the other side to listen.

He grew anxious when all that he could hear was her cries but not her voice for several long seconds. He kept calling for her but there was no response from her end. 

He did not know for how long he stood near his balcony, holding his phone to his ear. He did not pull the phone away from his ear even for a fraction of a second, not wanting to take any chance to miss her if and when she grabbed the phone again.

वेड्या मना सांग ना, खुणावती का खुणा,
माझे मला आले हसू, प्रेमात फसणे नाही रे!

Her sobs came to an instant end when she turned on her side and her head accidentally fell on her phone that she had dropped there. His voice that fell in her ears, momentarily froze the tears in her eyes. Her hand lifted the phone and placed it to her ear. 

वेड्या मना सांग ना, व्हावे खुळे का पुन्हा,
तुझ्यासवे सारे हवे, प्रेमात फसणे नाही रे!

She wiped her cheeks dry as his voice did its usual magic, pulling her into a whole different universe altogether. 

The universe that she had secretly grown fond of without her conscious realization!
The universe, the existence of which was limited only to her and him.
The universe of his voice!

“Why did you stop?” she asked as a deep frown crossed her face when silence greeted her from his end for long moments that felt no less than ages to her.

His lips stretched in a smile upon hearing her voice and the smile widened when he realized that she was no longer crying. 

धुक्यात जसे चांदणे, मुक्याने तसे बोलणे,
हो, सुटतील केव्हा उखाणे…

नात्याला काही नाव नसावे, तू ही रे माझा मितवा!
ना त्याचे काही बंधन व्हावे, तू ही रे माझा मितवा!

He leaned onto the balcony window, staring at the moon, missing his moon. 

नात्याला काही नाव नसावे, तू ही रे माझा मितवा!
ना त्याचे काही बंधन व्हावे, तू ही रे माझा मितवा!

“Feeling better?” He couldn’t resist asking but what he got in the response was perhaps sweeter than any of the sweets that he had ever had in his life.

Her soft snoring that reached his ears gave away that she had fallen asleep. Shaking his head, he could only wonder how much more this woman was going to drive him insane. 

The strange satisfaction that she was peacefully sleeping washed away all the worries of the past couple of hours.
That night, he realized that his wife’s comfort had started mattering to him a lot more than he used to think it did.
That night, he realized that his wife’s tears had started affecting him a lot more than he used to think they did. 

That night, he realized that his wife had become that part of him which if kept away… would suffocate him. 

“Khadoos… I miss you!”

He heard her right when he was about to disconnect the call. He held his thumb still as her words reverberated in his ears. Did she just say that she was missing him? No, he must have heard it wrong. 

“Apurva? Apurva?” He called for her to confirm what she had just said but he was quick to realize that she was talking in her sleep. 

Khadoos… I miss you. 

No song had ever sounded as sweet and melodious to him as that night,  his wife’s four words did.

Khadoos, I miss you. 

“I miss you too, Apurva,” he confessed, knowing that she wasn’t listening. Perhaps, that was what allowed him to confess. “Good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

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