Mine to Protect – An IshqAan One Shot – Ishk Par Zor Nahi

Set a couple of hours later to Ishqi’s exit from Malhotra Mansion.

Kartik. Kya – kya kar raha hai-

Before his confused self could even complete its question, his brother was already out of his room, slamming the door shut behind him. His eyes traveled beside him on his bed where Kartik had thrown his phone before he rushed out of the room as if his phone was about to get him killed.

Grabbing the phone with one hand, he pulled it in front of his eyes. His gaze lingered upon the caller ID. Bhai’s Sukoon. 

Kartik had left a call on? Why on the earth did Kartik leave his phone in his room?

He slowly got the phone to his ear and all that it took him was barely a moment to know that it was indeed his once sukoon on the other end of the call. The once sukoon that had gifted him the most painful suffering of his life.

A mere moment of silence after placing the phone near his ear was enough for his heart to listen to her uneven heartbeats. Until now, only his eyes were equipped with the x-ray that allowed him to see through her but lately, it seemed like even his ears were blessed with the microphone to hear her even before her words found her voice.

Swallowing the lump formed in his throat, he took a while to mask his torment and wear his pretense. The pretense of being unaffected. The pretense of being okay. The pretense of being… whole when he was lost, trying to even spot the shattered pieces of his heart let aside putting them back in their places.

It had been hours since she had left. Him. Ever since her presence abandoned him, leaving him to suffocate, he hadn’t stepped out of his room. His gaze had been busy staring at the face of the woman in the photo frame resting on his heart.

For the past several hours, all that he had done was – miss her. Miss them. Miss himself.

She hadn’t left alone. She had taken several pieces of his heart with herself – restraining his heart from becoming whole again. Even if he would try his hardest – his heart would still stay broken because he no longer had its every piece.

Damn you, the traitor heart!

He hadn’t thought that his heart would be the sickest traitor he would ever know. His heart had betrayed him, brutally burying the loyalty in the coffin named Ishqi’s love! With every step that she took away from him, the pieces of his heart followed her route like her disciples.

She hadn’t left alone. The pieces of his own heart had left him as well. His heart – chose her – over him. He might never be able to confess to anyone how ridiculously he envied them. They had the liberty to run after her while he had to hold back his feet. He was forced to.

He sucked in a deep breath, ensuring that his voice wouldn’t betray him, and let her know how broken he truly was. Just as he uncovered the phone, pulling his hand down that he had used not to let her hear anything, he heard her.

And just as her soft voice hit his ears, he shut his mouth, swallowing his unuttered words.

Mere sanam, teri kasam,
Chho-denge ab na ye haath!

The initial surprise flickering in his orbs upon hearing her singing to him faded just as soon as her throat choked at the last word and her cracked voice gave away what she had tried her best to hide. Her anguish.

He involuntarily turned on his side, still holding the phone protectively to his ears as if – if he put it aside even for a fraction of a moment – he would lose her voice also. Just like he had lost her presence. He couldn’t afford to take that risk. He just couldn’t afford to.

Chahe kuch bhi ho jaaye… na mera saath chho-dna… aur na ye haath!

Purani Delhi ki hoon. Mar jaaungi par ye haath aur ye saath kabhi nahi chho-dungi!

A lone tear escaped his eye once he returned from the memory lane. The night when he had firmly put it in her head not to leave his hand no matter what happened and hearing her singing that song left him on the verge of breaking down. In the worst way possible.

Ye zindagi, guzregi ab,
Humdum tumhare hi saath!

He was yet to recover from the emotions that she had invoked within him when he heard her again.

This woman! What was she trying to do? Wasn’t it enough all that she had already done that she was putting her best foot forward to snatch whatever sanity he was remained with?

Apna ye wada raha,
Tumse na honge juda!

“Shut up! Just shut up,” he yelled, once she made it unbearable for him. “What are you trying to do?”

“Kuch nahi. Bas aapko yaad dila rahi hoon… mujhe apna wada yaad hai,” she uttered, in the softest tone that she could manage. One of her attempts to caress his crying heart.

“Haath bhi chh-od diya aur saath bhi!”

A sharp pang of hurt hit her heart.

“Aap chaahte the ke main chali jaau, Ahaan.”

Her almost inaudible voice still got through. He fisted the bed sheet, squeezing his eyes shut.

Maine jaane ke liye kaha aur tum… chali gayi. Ek baar bhi nahi socha ke… tumhare bina… main…

He blinked several times to fight off the tears welling up in his eyes. He disconnected the call, pushing the phone out of his reach.

It had been quite a while since he had a breakdown last. Even coming across his mother after twenty years hadn’t unsettled him the way Ishqi had.

She knew it all.

She knew what his mother did to him and his family.

She knew that even if he pretended to be made of steel in front of others, his pain of being abandoned by his mother was still as raw as it could be.

She knew that he could accept everything in the world… every heartbreak, every betrayal, every lie but nothing related to his mother.

Nothing related to his mother. 

She knew it all.

And yet, and yet, she chose to do what she did. Despite knowing that it would bring only miseries his and their way. She still chose his mother. Over him. Over them.

“Why, Ishqi? Kyun kiya? Kaise kiya? Sab pata tha tumhe. Uske bawjood? Wo aurat… wo aurat mujhse zada maayne rakhti hai tumhare liye ke tumne unke liye mujhe… mujhe…”

He was drowning in the ocean of grief, gasping for one moment of comfort. One moment of affection. One moment of her love. Just one moment.

His eyes glistened with the emotions that he would never let anyone see. He wouldn’t allow anyone to witness what losing her did to him.

Ishqi and his mother. Together.

Her song.

His brain compiled and played them together. The eyes that shimmered with hurt earlier, now burned with rage and within moments, the photo frame that he had been securely holding was on the floor. Into pieces. Broken. Just like his broken heart.

The shrill sound of the shattering glass filled his ears, catching the attention of his eyes. His welled-up eyes stuck on her face in the broken photo frame and the next thing he knew – that he was on the floor.

Pushing his hand into the frame, he pulled out their photograph from it – not caring about the glass pieces piercing into his skin. All that his mind knew was they were blocking his view of her and he needed to bring her out of them. And he did.

Blood began to drip from his hand but he seemed to be least bothered about it. Drawing his knees closer, he wounded his hands around them. His lips lingered on her face in the photograph for a moment before he buried his face in his knees.

Everything had ended.

For him.

In the most brutal way possible.

Earlier, the woman who was everything to him abandoned him.

And now, the woman who he had made his everything abandoned him.

The world envied him but only he knew how truly unlucky he was. Despite having earned everything, he had lost everything.

Love and AVM didn’t seem to go hand in hand. Everyone his heart held close eventually left him for something or the other.

“Sab chale gaye. Sabne chh-od diya mujhe. Pehle Papa. Fir Maa. Aur ab… tum! Kya galti hai meri? Kya galti hai meri, Ishqi? Kyun nahi rok paaya main tum sabko?” His sobs, though low, still echoed in his room, and to his relief, he had no reason to hold himself back for there was nobody to witness his tears.

Nobody.

Nobody to engulf him in a hug and tell him that it was going to be okay.

Nobody to caress his hair and assure him that it wasn’t his fault.

Nobody to wipe his tears and just embrace him till he felt better.

Nobody.

“Bhai! Bhai, chalo.”

Kartik who had dashed into his room momentarily froze looking around him. He couldn’t recall when he last saw his brother’s room in such a messy state. His gaze went down at the scattered pieces of the photo frame and his brother sitting right beside them.

“Bhai,” he murmured, helplessly cursing the situation. His own eyes watered at his brother’s crying figure.

He resisted the urge to sit beside his brother and comfort him for as long as he needed to and struggled to hide his tears before they could escape his eyes. He couldn’t cry. Not at that moment.

“Bhai, chalo. Sam – Sam is about to kill himself.”

Ahaan’s head jerked up at the information dumped by Kartik. “What?” Wiping his cheeks, he stood up with the support of the side table. “Kya bol raha hai tu?”

“Abhi explain karne ka time nahi hai, Bhai. Jaldi chalo. Raaste me batata hoon!” He dragged Ahaan along without explaining further.

“Kartik, tu kaha le aaya? Ye Sam ka ghar to nahi hai. Tu kuch batayega?” Ahaan scanned the surrounding where Kartik had parked the car.

He hadn’t been to that place before. Where had Kartik brought him?

Jaldi nikal yaha se, Kartik warna aaj to teri kabar bhi Bhai khud hi khodenge, tujhe khud hi dafnayenge aur uss par phool bhi khud hi chadhayenge! Mentally imagining his brother digging a grave for him and burying him alive in it, Kartik stumbled on his steps.

“Thik se chal. Kya kar raha hai tu?” Ahaan pulled him up by his arm. His brother was acting weird, making him suspicious.

“What the fudge!” he blurted when Kartik pushed him inside the house and locked the door from outside. “Kartik. KARTIK. Door khol.” He relentlessly banged on the door, screaming at Kartik every two seconds.

“So -” Ruk ja. Abhi sorry bhi bolna tere liye jaanlewa ho sakta hai. Nervous, scared, anxious – all at the same time! Kartik could already see his dead body. Abhi yaha se nikalna hi better hai. Warna tu kaha se aaya kaha gaya, kisiko pata nahi chalega. Barso baad log bolenge – tha koi. Something with K. He brought his nail-biting session to an end and made a quick run from there.

“Dammit!” He kicked the locked door out of frustration when minutes passed with his screaming and hitting on the door but there was no response from Kartik’s end.

His gaze traveled around the dimly lit home. Taking off his blazer, he hung it on his one hand as he walked forward to figure out whose place it was and why exactly Kartik had left him there.

His rushing footsteps instantly stopped once a faint sound greeted his ears. Despite being too faint – almost inaudible – he heard it. Or perhaps, he felt it.

In absolute silence, he could make out that they were guitar strings. His feet automatically ran in the direction of the sound for his heart had recognized the source.

His mind still held the uncertainty, but his heart danced in the guarantee, for it knew it could be wrong at anything but sensing her. Wrong at anything but recognizing the fragrance of her presence.

He knew it was her.

His unsteady feet climbed the stairs skipping many of them for the urge to see her was insane enough not to let him wait even for a moment.

Maine kiya, hai raat din,
Bas tera hi intezaar!

He had just reached the terrace entrance when her soothing voice found its way to his ears again. His eyes caught her standing near the railing, her back facing him.

Tere bina, aata…

Her throat choked, leaving her to pause.

Seeing her tightly fisting her hand when her gathered control betrayed her, his heart wanted to run up to her, take her in his arms and hide her there. Forever.

Nahi, ek pal mujhe ab qarar.
Humdum mere mil gaya,
Ab hum na honge juda.

He involuntarily leaned against the wall behind him, failing to understand how she could manage to get herself to sing when he knew that she wasn’t in the state to even speak. Or at least that was what he thought whatever happened between them must have done to her.

Was he wrong? Did it not affect her at all? Was all that his grandmother said about her the ultimate truth and everything she made him feel all along a sham?

His feet took him closer to her. On their own accord, they covered the distance between them. The soft music by the guitar strings had captivated him enough to forget everything for the time being.

At that moment – the only thing he cared about was her. The only thing he could see was her. The only thing he could hear was the music created by her.

Apna ye wada raha…

She placed the guitar down and just as she turned to him, the realization sank in and he turned around without letting her eyes catch the sight of his face.

Dammit! What was he doing? It was ridiculous how his heart was being so annoyingly stubborn and doing things on its own, royally disobeying his commands.

He shouldn’t have been here. He couldn’t be here. He needed to leave – rather run from there – just as fast as he could. Another minute there and she might see it all. See what Ishqi had done to Ahaan Veer Malhotra!

He couldn’t let her witness his tears. He wouldn’t. Taking a moment to brace himself to wear the strongest pretense of him, he turned to walk away from her.

But to his agony, he couldn’t take a step further for her soft fingers curled themselves around his wrist. That mere touch of hers shook his facade like an insane storm destroying whatever came its way.

Hum tum na honge juda!
Apna ye wada raha…

He attempted to jerk her hand off the moment she resumed singing from where she had left but she didn’t let go of him.

Tumse

One stride was all that she needed to eliminate the distance between them.

Na honge

Leaving his wrist, she slipped her hands from the sides of his torso before pushing them upward until one of her hands found his heart. She pressed her cheek against his back, as she firmly embraced him from behind.

Juda!

And that – that brought the facade he had worn with so many efforts brutally crashing down.

No matter how hard he tried to fight off the tears wetting his eyelashes – the matter was out of his control by then.

His years of practice had crumbled within minutes. Courtesy to Ishqi Ahaan Veer Malhotra.

He roughly tried to get her hands off him but the more he tried, the more tightly she held him closer. His struggle to pull apart continued while her persistence to keep him to herself continued.

In the battle between his mind that wanted to take him away from her and her heart that was ready to do whatever it would take not to let his mind win – his mind gave up, letting her heart win.

Once his hands that were pushing her hands off him stopped their struggle and rested on her hands, a bit of relief rushed through her.

“Maine kaha tha na – hum haar – jeet… sukh – dukh… sab mein partners hai. Yaha to haar bhi hai aur dukh bhi. Kaise akele chh-od deti aapko inn dono se akeke deal karne ke liye?”

“Chh-od to tumne diya hi hai. Aur mujhe chho-dkar uss – uss aurat ko chuna hai jisne mujhe life mein sabse zada hurt kiya hai. Jinke vajah se… khair. Ab inn baaton ka koi matlab nahi. Tumne chun liya jise tumhe chun na tha.”

Her heart momentarily stopped. She had been a stern witness to his anger quite a lot of times. That wasn’t alien to her but his voice – whenever laced with heartbreaking hurt – always went slicing through her heart.

His stiff figure in her hold made absolutely no attempt to move away.

Kaise samjhau! Maine aapko hi chuna hai!

“Shh,” she mumbled, rubbing his shoulders when he shivered in her arms. She knew he was losing it second by second.

“It’s okay, Ahaan. Aap ro sakte hai. Chilla sakte hai. Mujhpe gussa kar sakte hai. Yaad hai aapne kaha tha aap try karenge… mujhse apni feelings share karna. Please. Main samajh sakti -“

Grabbing the hold of her wrist, he pulled her in front of him with a jerk. “Kya samajh sakti ho?? He gripped her shoulders, not realizing and caring about his nails digging deep into her skin. “BOLO. Kya samajh sakti ho? Ye samajh sakti ho ke kaisa lagta hai jab tumhe ye sunkar bada hona padta hai ke tumhari Maa kisi aadmi ke saath bhag gayi? Kyunki wo ameer tha. Ye samajh sakti ho ke kaisa hota hai jab tumhara bachpan tumhare bade hone se pehle hi khatam ho jata hai. Ye samajh sakti ho,” his hands slowly slipped off her hands to her legs as he descended on his knees, the pain of his heart flowing through his eyes, “ke jab ek family toot ti hai to kaise sab bikhar jata hai!”

Clutching the hem of her dress, she swallowed the lump clogging her throat. Nothing could be worse than the realization that she was the one to put him through that pain. The pain that she knew was beyond his bearing capacity.

Everything was on a different side. She needed to do what she did. She put her most cherished relationship at stake just so that he could see his mother for who she really was. She embraced his rage for siding with his mother just so that he and his mother could get the love of each other that they had always longed for.

She didn’t mind the suffering that she chose for herself in the process but she despised herself for choosing that suffering for him as well.

It didn’t matter that she didn’t have another choice. All of it on one side and his hurt, on the other.

At that moment – she was the worst person alive – in her own eyes for bringing the love of her life to his knees, broken and shattered, reliving the same pain that had torn him apart twenty years ago.

As she slowly slipped down, beside him, her heart sank to watch him uncontrollably weeping. The man who never let even her come in sight of his tears was crying, right in front of her.

The hit to him this time buried the mask of strength he would wear to conceal his breakdowns from the eyes of the world. All that he was remained with was the pain! Sick and tormenting pain! The pain that made mere breathing a struggle he didn’t wish to do!

Within moments, her hands encircled around his neck as she pulled him into her shaky embrace! Despite her attempts to keep herself strong – for his sake – she could do nothing about her own self that trembled at the sight of his breakdown.

Too tired to resist! He was mentally too drained out to resist her gentle attempts of dressing his wounded heart.

Tears rolled down her cheeks to see him giving in without a bit of struggle. Not once he tried to push her away or get away from her.

“I am sorry, Ahaan, I am sorry.”

His crying heart didn’t let him hear the woeful apology that she continued to mumble while holding him to herself.

I wish – I wish mere paas koi aur raasta hota, lekin nahi tha, AVM. I swear, agar kuch bhi aur hota – jis se aapko itna dard nahi hota – to main wo karti. Kuch bhi aur – khud pe metro bhi chalani padti to chala deti. Par kya karu? Yahi ek raasta tha.

While externally she was trying to calm him, internally every bit of her was suffocating. Standing strong to protect him from falling apart demanded her letting herself fall apart and not even letting him see that.

“Aha -“

Her voice slapped the harsh reality hard on his face. Withdrawing himself from her arms, he rose to his feet, furiously wiping his wet cheeks. “I am sorry. Mujhe yaha nahi hona chahiye. Neither this place is mine nor the woman standing here.”

Stab me instead. Just stab me instead of acting like a stranger to me. She lifted her teary gaze at his back facing her.

“Rukiye!”

Ignoring her plea that was torturing his ears, he continued to make his way out of the terrace.

“Aaj agar aap yaha se gaye, to main wada karti hoon, Ahaan – fir kabhi… kabhi bhi apni shakal na dikhaungi aur na hi aapko dekhne dungi.”

His steps came to an abrupt halt at the decision that she had just announced, gripping his heart with an unknown fear.

I am sorry, Ahaan par aapko rokne ka koi aur tareeka nahi hai mere paas. Chahe blackmail karna pade ya emotional attyachar – main aapko jaane nahi de sakti. Not especially when I know I am the one you need to keep your sanity intact.

Slowly pulling herself up, she walked up to him. “Thank you,” she circled her hand around his elbow, “Itna naraz hone ke bawajood rukne ke liye.” She was about to lay her head on his shoulder when her hand slipped down to his palm and she stilled in her place. Ignoring the pain that formed its way into her hand, her terrified gaze fell down and she immediately pulled herself away.

Tears blurred her vision that had caught his bleeding hand. She looked at the drop of blood in her shivering palm. The sight of a glass piece stuck in his skin left her trembling.

For that particular moment, she could only hate herself for holding his hand for she had only pushed that piece deeper. She was least bothered about the fact that it had pierced through her skin as well when she pressed her palm into his!

Her emotional being was so invested in his pain that her physical being forgot to feel her own pain!

He stood unaffected as she rushed down after warning him not to move an inch from his place.

It had taken her a while to return but when she did, the first thing that she did was to drag him to the couch nearby and forcibly push him to sit.

“Haath dikhaiye,” she spoke in a barely audible voice as she sat on the edge of the couch beside him. Containing her every emotion, she didn’t allow her face to tell the tales of her weeping heart.

By the time she was done taking out the needed stuff from the first-aid box, she found him sitting with a poker face, with his hands in his lap.

Abhi nahi! She silenced the anger rushing through her veins and grabbed his wrist to pull it to herself.

She placed the back of his palm in her left hand as she bent a little to take the stuck glass piece out. It was a tiny sharp piece. Her insides clenched at the thought of how much it was going to hurt him.

“Stay still. This is going to hurt.”

“It can’t hurt more than how much you have hurt me.”

His words continued to mercilessly stab her but she didn’t let her gaze get distracted. She carefully picked the end of the piece that was out of his skin.

She wouldn’t lie – while pulling it out, her heart cried as if she was pulling a knife out of it.

He was scrutinizing her face all along. He was amused at how deeply this woman cared for him. She wasn’t allowing him to feel his own pain. She was taking even that on herself. 

How did fate allow her to be his?

A bit of relief comforted her once the glass was out of his skin. Keeping it aside, she got up, taking the water bottle she had brought along. She poured water on his hand, holding it aside, and returned to her place.

“Stay still. This is going to burn a little,” she informed as she got her hands on a cotton ball and the antiseptic liquid.

“My existence has already been burned to ashes. What has remained to burn?”

Taking in his every hurtful comment wasn’t easy but she could do it for who better than she knew that he wasn’t really trying to hurt her but rather he was revealing how hurt he was!

“How did this happen?” She broke the silence after she finished cleaning his palm. While draping a clean bandage around it, she let her eyes lift at his face after a long while. She wasn’t surprised to find his eyes already fixed on her.

“Humari photo frame tod di. Toote hue tukde tumhara chehra tod rahe the.”

“Aur aapne apna haath toote hue kaanch ke tukdo me daal diya? Sirf meri tasveer ke liye?”

She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to smile or be mad. Her husband was insane. Insane in his love for her. She softly held his bandaged hand, while her helpless eyes refused to look away from him.

“Dard ho raha hai?”

“Bohot.”

His unblinking stare at her forced her to look down, knowing he wasn’t talking about his hand but his heart.

“Aapko sach me lagta hai main aapke saath games khel rahi thi, AVM?” His hand was still in her grip as she slowly raised her eyes at him again.

A brief moment of silence followed her question.

“Aapne kaha na maine aapko chho-dkar aapki Maa ko chuna hai? Nahi, AVM. Maine aapki wajah se aapki Maa ko chuna hai!”

She left her place and walked toward the railing. “Chahu to aapko sab bata doon. Abhi isi waqt lekin aap manna bhi chahe to nahi maan paayenge bas isiliye abhi tak chup hoon. Fir bhi itna zaroor kahungi… aapki Maa galat nahi hai, AVM. Nahi hai wo galat!”

“To kaun hai galat? Dadi?” He was near her within seconds. Pulling her by her arm, he turned her to himself. “Batao,” he stared into her welled-up eyes, “kaun hai galat, Ishqi?”

Kaise batau? Kaise samjhau? Yahi sach hai, Ahaan. Yahi sach hai! Her heart silently wept at the thought of how brutal Dadi had been to him. She had made him live a life based on the lies – that he was going to probably struggle forever to forgive himself for believing.

Her palm involuntarily rose to his cheek. “Ah!” She regretted letting that escape her lips, as the cut in her palm came in touch with his skin.

Alarmed, he caught her hand. What the fudge! Even before the appalling shock in his eyes could fade, he had dragged her back to the couch that they were seated on.

“Ahaan… main thik -“

“Shut up, Ishqi!”

“AVM, main sach me thi -“

“I said, shut up. Hindi me samjhau? Chup raho.“

She sealed her lips without further argument once he darted an intimidating glare at her, while his tone made it clear that he wouldn’t entertain her stubborn shade at the moment.

Cutu! She couldn’t resist her smile at her husband’s swift switch from unapologetically mad to undeniably concerned.

AVM was AVM! He was hers, and she would proudly flaunt that! World’s best husband!

“Dimag ko silbatte par piskar uski chutney banakar kha li? Itna cut gaya hai haath fir bhi has rahi ho?” He shook her head at her insanity while he cleaned her palm with the antiseptic liquid. It was supposed to burn, he knew but nobody could figure out from her smile that she was hurting.

“Meri language seekh hi gaye aakhir aap! Dikh raha hai mujhe… mera rang kuch zada hi chadh chuka hai aap par!” She teased, making no visible attempt to hide her mischievous grin. Just one of her attempts to lighten his sky-high concern!

“Haan,” he covered her cut with a bandage, “apna rang mujhpar chho-dkar mujhe hi chh-od diya!” Just as he looked up after making that statement, he was left behind with a stinging sensation in his heart upon coming across her teary eyes.

Hurting her hurt him. More than he would ever let her see but what else was he supposed to say? What else was he supposed to do?

Years ago, his mother broke him and it had taken him a long, long while to piece himself together in a way where he still wasn’t whole but to the world, he could pretend that he was.

And just when he thought that he had found someone who could probably heal the painful scars of his past – that woman… also… left him!

History had repeated itself and in the worst way possible! The two women he could give up his breaths for had given up on him.

Hardening his heart was the only way he could leave that place at that time. That place and her. For one more moment, if he stayed there, he would lose it all, he was sure. Watching her in tears wasn’t his cup of tea either.

Go back. This is not your place. She has left you. Just like… that woman did, years ago. Reminding himself for one more time, he forced himself to stand without daring to let his eyes wander in the indecipherable Ishqi maze.

One by one. Step by step. He began to walk away from her. Don’t turn back. Don’t turn back. He kept on repeating that in his mind, knowing one glance at her held the capacity to halt his feet right in their place.

His every chant and every determination died the moment his hand was held and she pulled him downstairs along with her. She hadn’t even allowed him a second to react and resist.

From the moment she held his hand, she stopped only after dragging them into a room that seemed drowned in darkness to him. Just like his heart.

She let go of his hand to switch on the lights and once she did, every bit of his being couldn’t breathe. His gaze scattered all around him, at the walls adorned with their photo frames! One of the walls was half-decorated with his childhood pictures and the rest of the wall was empty.

It was no longer in his ability to fight off that one tear that escaped his eye when it caught a beautiful heart-shaped decoration on the ceiling that said – Tu Hai Mera Aadha Sa Hissa Sadaa!

His eyes immediately found her, her hand still on the switch, her eyes still wetting her cheeks. “Aapko abhi bhi lagta hai main kabhi bhi aapko chho-dkar ja sakti hoon?”

And that marked the moment when Ahaan Veer Malhotra fell all over again for Ishqi Ahaan Veer Malhotra! And this time… he fell way harder than he did for the first time.

He hadn’t made a single gesture but rather just stared at her but she didn’t belong to the world that needed his words or gestures to hear what he had to say! She didn’t belong to that world.

Walking up to him, her hand rested on his shoulder before she pulled him to herself. Her hands circled around his neck as she embraced him like never before. “Mera sab kuch aapse shuru hokar aap par hi to khatam hota hai! Ladti bhi hoon to aapse. Pyaar bhi karti hoon to aapse. Har ummed, har khwaish, har khushi… aapke hi to saath baantati hoon. Aapko chho-dkar kahan jaaungi? Kaise jaungi? Jakar kya karungi? Aapne socha bhi kaise ke main aapko…”

With every word, she broke down. Little by little. And by the time she uttered the last word, she was a crying mess. She didn’t know if her knees held the strength to keep her standing had he not been holding her.

That night, in her arms, she melted his insecurities in the warmth of her love. Every single one of them. Forever.

He didn’t recall when he was held so protectively by someone last. Even after she entirely broke down, she was still holding him to herself as tightly as she could. That night, he realized that he had underestimated hugs all his life! Or perhaps, he never had that someone who could put his every unsettled bit at an absolute calm with just a mere hug! Just a mere hug!

“I am sorry ke aapko sab aise pata chala,” she whispered to his quiet self resting his head in her lap as she sat on the bed, and he lay down, finding the most comforting place for his head!

“You sure tum mujhe abhi bhi nahi batana chaahti ho why is that woman-” he paused, once the bitterness returned to his voice. “Jo bhi hai!’

Her face acquired a faint smile to see him avoiding the lines and the tone that he knew would upset her.

“Main batana chaahti hoon but abhi nahi,” she said, leaning her forehead on his for a moment. Without proof, I cannot tell you that the angel of your life is, in reality, a devil! That is one such truth that you cannot accept unless I prove it to you.

She pushed Dadi out of her mind for the time being as his hand reached out for hers. “Kya hua?” Perplexed, she gazed down at his lips lingering on her palm.

“I am sorry, Ishqi. Mujhe wo sab… nahi kehna chahiye tha.” His guilt-stricken eyes couldn’t dare to lift at her.

“Koi baat nahi!”

Koi baat nahi. Three words. A mere three words pushed Ahaan Veer Malhotra into the pool of shame. He had taunted her about the family she didn’t have. His mouth had uttered unforgivable disgust and the woman on the receiving end said – koi baat nahi!

If he had never been able to stand a word spoken concerning his mother when she was alive, he had no idea how she could – not just listen to all of the sick things he had said – but also let them go without a single word in the argument.

How did fate write her in his stars? He clearly didn’t deserve her, he knew.

How did she choose him? She clearly could have gotten a far better man than him, he knew.

How did someone like him make someone like her, his? He clearly had no idea. This woman truly didn’t belong to the world of people he had come across his entire life.

She really was from a different universe. A woman like no other! Ishqi! His Ishqi!

“It’s not okay, Ishqi. Maine bohot ghatiya baatein kahi thi tumse. Tum kaise fir bhi mujhe maaf kar sakti ho bina mere maafi maange?”

She just smiled, leaning forward to drop a quick kiss on his hair. “Simple. Kyunki main jaanti hoon wo baatein aapke gusse ne boli thi. Aapke dil ne nahi! Gussa temporary hota hai. Dil permanent. Maine pyaar aapke dil se kiya hai, AVM! Uss dil se jo main jaanti hoon mujhse kitna pyaar karta hai! Kya chun na chahiye tha mujhe? Temporary ya permanent? Aapka gussa ya aapka dil? Maine aapke dil ko chun liya! Galat kiya?”

Not too often! Not many people! Not too often and not many people could leave him tongue-tied the way his wife did!

“Aur waise bhi… main jaanti hoon, unn baaton ka mujhse zada bura aapko laga hai! Shayad wo sun na aur bhulna mere liye itna mushkil nahi tha jitna mushkil aapke liye kehna aur bhulna hai! Itna kaafi hai… Itna kaafi hai mere liye use chho-dkar aapke dil ko chunne ke liye!”

His head turned to her stomach, and his hands around her waist as he hid himself in her. Every single word coming from her had overwhelmed in a way that he struggled to contain it.

How could someone love anyone so much?

Koi kisi se itna pyaar… kaise kar sakta hai?

He had no idea. Not even in his wildest of desires, he had dared to wish someone like her for himself because he firmly believed that someone like her could exist only in his tiny imaginary world until he found her! Until he found her!

“Main… darr gaya tha, Ishqi! Tumhe uss aurat ke saath dskhkar! Tum nahi jaanti use. Main jaanta hoon. Usne mujhe chh-od diya. Uske wajah se maine Papa ko bhi kho diya. Aur jab maine tumhe uske saath dekha… mujhe laga… mujhe laga -“

“Aap mujhe bhi kho denge?” she uttered the words he was struggling to bring over his lips.

His silence confirmed it.

“Aapki soch ki buniyad hi galat hai, Ahaan. Aapki Maa-“

“Exactly, Ishqi! Meri Maa. Main unhe tumse zada jaanta hoon.”

Kaash aap unhe mujhse behtar jaante hote, Ahaan! Kaash! To mujhe aaj ye sab nahi karna padta!

He clasped their hands. “Mujhse promise karo ke tum aaj ke baad uss aurat se kabhi nahi milogi! Promise me, Ishqi!”

“Zindagi maang lijiye. Bina kisi sawal aapke naam likh dungi lekin ye wada nahi kar paaungi,” she said, staring into his eyes that began to lose their shine after listening to her.

His grip on her hand started to loosen but before their hands could go apart, she locked them together.

“Tum samajh kyun nahi rahi ho, Ishqi? Wo cheen lengi tumhe mujhse. Jaise saalo pehle unhone mera sab kuch cheen liya tha mujhse.”

Her heart went out to him, hearing his plea. He was almost on the verge of breaking down again. She shut her eyes out of agony. His insecurities were far too deep-rooted than she had thought of them to be.

This was the worst anyone could do to him what Dadi had done to him. The absolute worst! Dadi did what she had to but now, she would do what she would need to. Dadi had played with his emotions for long enough but not anymore.

Not anymore, Dadi. Not anymore. Ahaan is now mine to protect and I would do whatever it would take me to make sure that your evil mind cannot touch him. Whatever it would take me!

“AVM, main samajhti hoon aapke liye unhe trust karna mumkin nahi hai.” Abhi! She hated what Dadi had brought her to. She couldn’t stand those words coming out of her but she had no choice.

“Aur main aapko force bhi nahi karungi. Lekin main aaj aapse kuch maangna chaahti hoon. De payenge?”

“Keh kar to dekho.”

“Yakeen. Aapka yakeen de dijiye mujhe. Mujhe karne dijiye jo main karna chaahti hoon. Chaahe kuch bhi ho jaaye, aapka yakeen mujhpar se mat tootne dijiyega. Main promise karti hoon, Ahaan… sab bohot mushkil hone wala hai, especially aapke liye, lekin main aapke saath hoon aur rahungi. Humesha.”

She lifted their interlocked hands. “Ye haath… humesha mere haath me rahega aur main… humesha aapke saath!”

“Waise ye ghar kiska hai?” He held her hand that was feeding him food.

“Kartik ka hai!” She spilled the beans while pushing the spoonful of rice into his mouth.

He couldn’t speak a word because of the food in his mouth but his widened eyes gave away that he wasn’t aware of the information shared.

“Kartik ka? Mujhe kaise pata nahi?” He stopped her hand again which was trying to put the food in his mouth.

“Kyunki usne kisi ko bataya nahi. Kuch time pehle hi khareeda usne. Usne apni saari earnings ise khareedne mein laga di. Bol raha tha kuch khaas hai iss ghar mein.”

He hummed but his mind continued to wonder how Kartik managed it without him knowing.

“To wo room…”

“Main aapke birthday ke liye decorate kar rahi thi. Pata nahi tha aise dikhana padega.”

She went back to the day when Kartik had brought her to that place for the first time. She still remembered the way his eyes had proudly twinkled while showing her around.

His home wasn’t too big but had just enough space for everyone. He had specifically designed three bedrooms. One for IshqAan, one for SoRaj and one for… him and his would-be wife. His home wasn’t too fancy, but rather neat and sweet.

Kartik’s home!

Kartik was truly their Godfather, Ahaan smiled at the memory of the Mehendi ceremony crossing his mind. If not him, then his home! This way or that way, his brother had always put in his everything to deepen his and Ishqi’s relationship.

“Waise Kartik ka phone to mere paas tha. To tum dono ne ye kab plan kiya? Mujhe yaha lana…”

She snuggled closer, resting her head on his heart as he wounded his hands around her as they lay on the bed in their room.

“Ye plan tha hi nahi. Mera plan sirf aapse phone par baat karna tha. Main aapko space dena chaahti thi. At least aaj raat ke liye lekin fir… aapki baatein sunkar samajh aaya… main aapko akele nahi chh-od sakti thi. Aap toot rahe the, AVM. Main kaise chh-od deti aapko akele?”

“Par phone par to maine kuch kaha hi nahi?” He paused for a moment to remember if he did but he was sure he didn’t. He looked down at the sweet smile playing on his wife’s lips.

“Main jaanti thi aap phone rakh denge. Isliye maine Kartik se kaha tha ek phone on karke aapke bed ke neeche rakh de. To aapke phone rakhne ke baad jo kaha…”

“Tum sun rahi thi,” he murmured.

Why, Ishqi? Kyu kiya? Kaise kiya?

Sab pata tha tumhe. Uske bawajood?

Wo aurat… wo aurat mujhse zada maayne rakhti hai tumhare liye ke tumne unke liye mujhe… mujhe…

Sab chale gaye.

Pehle Papa. Fir Maa. Aur ab… tum!

Kya galti hai meri? Kya galti hai meri, Ishqi?

Kyu nahi rok paaya main tum sabko?

His mind went back to recalling what he had said after disconnecting her call. And he could see when Kartik dropped the phone under his bed as well. He had stumbled down while rushing out. Must have done the deed then.

“AVM,” she called out, panicking upon feeling a drop of water landing on her hair. She raised her head from his chest to see a pool of emotions in his eyes. Her palm cupped his cheek as she continued to ask what was wrong.

“Nobody has ever thought about me so much. Mujhse kabhi kisine itna pyaar nahi kiya, Ishqi!“

For several long moments, her love overwhelmed him so much that he couldn’t understand what to say and what to do. He could only wonder what he had ever done to deserve the woman in his arms!

She was simply herself but just by being herself, she was an incredibly gorgeous soul. She, time and again, reminded him that she didn’t belong to this world. She was just someone else. From somewhere else. 

Just someone else from somewhere else!

“AVM,” she heaved a sigh of relief, dropping her head back on his chest, “aapne dara diya mujhe!”

Pressing his lips on her forehead, he cuddled her closer.

“Aap jaante hai ye maine yaha kyun lagaya hai?” She pointed at the ceiling.

Tu Hai Mera Aadha Sa Hissa Sadaa!

He shook his head, attentively looking at her, waiting for her to share.

“Isliye ki jab bhi aap apni aakhein khole, aapki nazar sabse pehle iss par pade. Ye aapko humesha yaad dilayega ke main aapka aadha hissa hoon aur aap mere. Na aap kabhi mera saath chho-denge, na main aapka haath.”

Bichhde Bhi Hum Jo Kabhi Raaston Mein,
To Sang Sang Rahungi Sada!
Kadmon Ki Aawaaz Sun Ke Chalungi,
Tumhe Dhoond Loongi Sada!
Aisa Milan Phir Ho Na Ho,
Sab Kuch Mera Tum Hi To Ho!
💜

I am still in these emotions. This happens to be the last shot that I did on these two. I had decided that I wouldn’t do more shots after the show ended to not ruin the beauty of these pieces that I did. Mine to Protect stays and will always stay special. It took me almost over a month to write this one even thought the actual writing was not more than 3-4 days but I kept postponing this one because the emotions involved were getting too intense for me to handle but I am genuinely extremely content with how this one turned out. 

Do share if you have anything to say about this one. Any specific dialogue, line, or scene you liked?