“Aap… gaye nahi, AVM?” Surprise flickered in her orbs as she opened the door and caught him leaning against his car in front of her house. It had been several long minutes since she locked the door after he visited her to return her book that he had borrowed a week ago.
“Koshish to kar raha hoon… kabse!” he whispered to himself as if not intending to make his words reach her ears but it seemed like they did nonetheless because he saw her walking toward him after closing the door.
“Koshish kar raha hoon matlab?”
Dammit. She heard it. He looked away, not knowing what explanation to come up with.
“Aap thik hai?”
He heard her again, almost smiling at the concern in her voice.
“Main aapse baat kar rahi hoon, AVM. Aap waha kya dekh rahe hai? Raat ke 11.30 baje aisi harkate mat kariye jinse mujhe aaj neend na aaye. Koi khubsoorat chudail mil gayi kya waha?” She laughed as she nudged him.
“Tumse milne ke baad kisi aur ko dekh kaha paata hoon main, Ishqi,” he murmured, turning toward her.
Her eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Ji?”
“Dinner kar liya tumne?”
She narrowed her eyes at the changed topic without putting closure to his previous statement. “Abhi banane hi ja rahi thi.”
“Mere saath… chalogi? Mere dost ka ek chotasa restaurant hai yahi paas mein.”
She pressed her lips together, trying to suppress her smile. “Aap mujhe date ke liye puch rahe hai?”
“Main bas dinner ke liye puch raha hoon!”
“Main change karke aati hoon.”
He held her wrist when she started to walk back to her home. “Zaroorat nahi hai.”
“Aise hi chalu? Pyjamas mein?” she asked, shaking her head as if she thought that he didn’t take a proper look at her clothes.
“Tum comfortable ho bas yahi matter karta hai. Fir chaahe tumne Pyjamas pehne ho ya shorts.”
“Log hasenge main aise hi chali to.” She reasoned.
“Kisi ke paas time nahi hai, Ishqi. Sabke paas apni zindagi hai. Humari zindagi mein hum kya kar rahe hai ye dekhne ke liye aur uspar hasne ke liye kisi ke paas time nahi hai aur jinke paas hai wo zaroorat se zada khaali hai. Unhe kaam dhoondne ki zaroorat hai na ki hume unki baaton par dhyaan dene ki!”
Her smile faded as his words sank deeper and deeper till they took her back to one of the memories that she had buried deep in her heart.
“What the heck are you wearing, Ishqi? Ye party maine throw ki hai and this is the best outfit you had for it? Don’t mind but this is honestly embarrassing, Ishqi. Am I supposed to introduce you to people in this? Nobody would believe that you are my girlfriend.”
“Ishqi? Ishqi?”
He gently shook her by her shoulder when he found her lost somewhere. She was instantly snapped back to reality.
“Ha-haan? Aap kuch keh rahe the?” she asked, having completely missed whatever that he must have said to her when she was in the trance.
“Tum thik ho?” His thumb wiped the tear that escaped her eye. “Tum… ro rahi ho?”
She smiled, wiping her cheek. “Kuch nahi. Chale?”
“Aapko yaad hai mujhe chhole pasand hai?” She was pleasantly surprised by the order that he placed. Almost everything that fell into the category of her favorite dishes.
“Haan, tumhe kya pasand hai kya nahi ye mere liye maayne rakhta hai aur jo humare liye maayne rakhta hai use yaad rakhna nahi padta. Wo to bas reh jata hai,” he said, forwarding a glass of water toward her on the table.
“Waise ye jagah kaafi acchi hai.” She complimented, looking around at the restaurant that was fairly small and had only seven tables but the vibe of the place was pretty peaceful.
Is it the place’s vibe or AVM’s? She smiled to herself upon finding herself wondering if it was really the restaurant’s ambiance or the night’s cool breezy air or AVM’s company that had suddenly distracted her from everything that she had been stressed about.
Her heart took not even a second to shyly nod, not hesitating to accept that it was AVM and only AVM.
“Mere dost ko batana. Use bohot accha lagega!” He gestured to the waiter to let the food be when he began to serve them and himself stood up to make their plates.
Silently watching the entire scene, she just sat back, admiring the man for yet another time. Being with AVM and admiring him went hand in hand for Ishqi.
Who would believe that she was unaware of his existence till a year ago? She would hate to accept that she had spent years without knowing him and his wonderful soul that she had fallen in love with.
Not as instantly as she had fallen for Advait though but then again, her affection for Advait had lasted not even six months but for AVM… she knew it would last a lifetime.
Had it not been for his repeated calls for her name, she would have gladly wandered in her favorite AVMLanes for a while more.
“Sorry,” she quickly apologized for zoning out yet another time.
“I’m sorry, Ishqi.”
His apology that came out of nowhere when they were close to finishing the dinner made her look up from her plate.
“Main samjha nahi sakta-“
“Aur samjhane ki zaroorat bhi nahi hai,” she said after taking the last bite of her meal and grabbing the napkin to wipe her mouth. “AVM, maine tab bhi kaha tha aur ab bhi keh rahi hoon… jo main aapke liye feel karti hoon wo ek bohot khubsoorat ehsaas hai jiska mujhe na kabhi regret hua hai aur na kabhi hoga lekin iska matlab ye to nahi ke aap bhi mere liye wo feel kare. Mere pyaar ne aapse kabhi koi ummeed nahi lagayi, AVM aur na wo kabhi lagayega. Aap guilty feel karna band karenge?”
He kept rotating the spoon in his hand on the plate, quietly listening to her. “Mujhe tumse pyaar na karne ka guilt nahi hai, Ishqi kyunki tumhe koi idea bhi nahi hai kabse wo pyaar mere dil mein hai.”
Perplexed, she sat taken aback; she hadn’t seen it coming.
“Kabhi tumse kaha nahi kyunki kehna hi nahi chaahta tha. Kabhi nahi. Uss din agar tumne… confess nahi kiya hota to shaayad main kabhi soch bhi nahi paata ke tum mujhse… aur sach bataau to main kabhi chaahta bhi nahi tha ke tum mujhse pyaar…”
He halted, sighing at his own words. His gaze traveled to her and stopped at her eyes which still made him feel like he didn’t need to utter a word. That they knew.
“Main tumse kabhi shaadi nahi kar paaunga, Ishqi. Jis shaadi ki wajah se maine meri Maa ko kho diya… I wouldn’t let that marriage make another woman suffer just as my mother did… at least not through me.”
“You are not your father, AVM,” she whispered, gently placing her hand on his. “Aapko aisa lagta hai wo shaadi thi jisne aapki maa ki zindagi barbaad kar di lekin, AVM, kya wo sach mein shaadi thi… ya wo aapke papa the? Aur aap… aapke papa jaise nahi hai, AVM.”
“Beta to unhi ka hoon. Kya pata shayad future mein-“
“Kabhi nahi, AVM. Kabhi nahi. Na kal aap unn jaise the, na aaj hai aur na kabhi banenge. Aap AVM hai aur wo hi rahenge. Wo AVM jisne ek molester ke against khade hone mein ek second nahi lagaya fir bhale hi wo molester unka sabse bada investor hi kyun na ho. Wo AVM jinke saath main Kabir Singh aadhi bhi nahi dekh paayi kyunki jitni tezi se Kabir ka haath Preeti par utha utni hi tezi se AVM theater se bahar ja chuke the. Wo AVM… jinhone apne gusse se upar uthne ke liye meditation shuru kiya so that wo kabhi verbally bhi kisi ko hurt karne se bach paaye physically to bohot dur ki baat hai.”
His eyes were fixated on the table ever since she began to speak until she pulled her hand back that was covering his.
“Har kisi ka ek past hota hai, AVM. Mera bhi hai, aap jaante hai aur aqsar humse galti ye ho jaati hai ke hum bina apne aap se jude, bina apne aap ko sambhale ek naye rishte mein kadam rakh dete hai iss expectation ke saath ke wo hume sambhale jo nahi ho sakta, AVM. Aise rishto ki neev hi zaroorat hoti hai pyaar nahi. Aur jab zaroorat khatm ho jaati hai ya fir puri nahi ho paati tab rishte bhi khatm hote jaate hai.”
She leaned back in her chair, placing her right palm on the table. “It’s not that I don’t understand what you’re afraid of, AVM. Zindagi mein jab kuch aise traumatic incidents hote hai jaise ki aapne jiye hai… unse bahar aakar bhi kahi na kahi unka darr humare andar zinda rehta hai but at the same time, it’s important that we see whether that fear is truly rational or not and in our case, it’s not because if we are talking about abuse…. Na to aap karne walo mein se hai aur na main sehne walo mein se.”
He would be lying if he said that she didn’t take him by surprise even if he had always known how genuinely sorted Ishqi was as a person despite the traumatic circumstances that life had put her through.
Ever since he met her, one of her first qualities that he admired was how she was able to stand practical no matter what situation she was in and yet how she was able to love people so fiercely.
She was that perfect blend of vulnerability and rationality that he wasn’t sure could exist.
“Mere family background ko dekhkar kya tumhare parents tumhara haath mere haath mein dene ke liye haa kar payenge?”
“Aapko dekhkar kya mere parents mera haath aapke haath mein dene ke liye naa kar payenge?”
Naa
Kar
Paayenge
?
Teri wafayein, teri mohabbat, sab kuch hai mere liye.
Tune diya hai nazrana dil ka, hum to hai tere liye.
Ye baat sach hai, sab jaante hai,
Tumko bhi hai ye yaqeen.
💜
This is a random piece of fiction. Absolute imagination. Kind of a random mini tale based on the picture on the characters named Ishqi and Aahan from the show Ishk Par Zor Nahi.
I will be short of words if I will start describing the beauty of this masterpiece 🥺🥺♥️♥️ Damn!!! Your writings are so intriguing that I can’t stop myself to read them and admire them🥺♥️
Thank you very much, Shagun. You are always so kind. 💜
This is just so beautiful 🫶🏻🫶🏻🥹🥹🤌🏻🤌🏻
(Randomly scrolling through your Instagram and saw this post and then search for this write-up and it was worth it as it’s so perfect and beautiful) I’m in love with your write-ups!!!
Keep Going and Growing. 🤍
Thank you very much, Raksha. 💜