There are certain things that I’m not comfortable talking about,
Is it too much to ask for if I expect you to understand instead of calling it out?
I know you want to mend the broken relationships in this house,
But, My Love, it is not always acceptable to meddle in the other’s affairs unless that person allows!
– IAdoreYouCreates
The episode begins with an upset Apurva walking to the kitchen and Shashank following her. He presses his hand on the table where she is sitting and tries to talk to her.
Shashank – Apurva, what is all this?
Apurva – You don’t want to tell me anything, right? Then, why are you following me?
He pulls a chair for himself and earnestly tries to make her understand his perspective.
Shashank – Try and understand the intention behind that.
Apurva – This… this has never happened before in our house… keeping secrets and hiding things but the moment Avantika’s name pops up – everyone… is hiding something and I am not liking it.
Shashank – Why are you being stubborn? Just leave it, no?
Apurva – Listen, Khadoos. Fights happen in every household. My parents fight too. Here, Mai and Dada-Kaka also fight but there is a tremendous difference between both the fights. There is always a strange love in Mai and Dada-Kaka’s fight which was missing today. He really got mad at her and I… I am not able to see all of this.
Shashank – It’s okay, Apurva. They’re husband-wife. They can have some things between them that they do not want to share with anyone else. It’s okay!
Apurva – Khadoos, nobody in our home holds onto the anger but Dada-Kaka… he is holding some grudge against Avantika. Okay, tell me something. Mai, Suva Aai, Panna Kaku… must have carefully treasured the memories of your childhood, no? It never happened with me, Khadoos. I never stayed with my mother. None of my favorite things or memories have been treasured by anyone but our family members… they do that. They protect and treasure all these small things and memories and that is what I love the most. Everything is so good here but the moment Avantika’s name comes up – the whole mood gets changed. Please tell me, what’s the reason behind it?
A helpless Shashank takes her hand in his, saying – I get what you’re saying. I get it but right now… I can’t tell you anything but I will… when the time comes, I will. Please… not now.
A restless Apurva rises to her feet and ends up yelling as she demands to be enlightened then and there.
Shashank -This is exactly why I am not telling you. One needs maturity to understand everything which you don’t have at the moment.
Apurva – Amazing. So now you think that I am immature?
Shashank – Not exactly but you are not mature enough to understand this particular thing. I will tell you everything when the time comes but not right now, hmm?
Apurva – Look, Khadoos. All that I know is that unless we understand what the problem is, we cannot find its solution.
Shashank – What do you mean?
Apurva – What I mean to say is we must find the solution to the problem that is ruining the mood of our family and upsetting them so much.
Shashank – Absolutely not, Apurva. You are going to stay away from this matter. You can’t have a solution to everything. You can’t solve every problem, Apurva.
Apurva – But if that is our family problem and getting even a single family member upset – we must solve that problem. I will solve it. If you want to tell me who Avantika is, well and good. If not – I will ask Dada-Kaka.
Shashank – Nobody tells you anything because of your this nature. Every time I think that you are getting mature, and I should understand you as well… that is when you do something of this sort but this time – I am not going to let you do anything. You getting it?
Apurva – I am gonna do it, Khadoos. I will have to. For the betterment of our family. Please.
Shashank – If this is how you are going to behave – then it is not going to be possible for me to spend the rest of my life with you.
Apurva – You don’t have to, either. Our contract is just for a year. Not for the life.
Apurva leaves from there, leaving a helpless Shashank behind who doesn’t know what to do with his wife who doesn’t seem to be willing to listen to him.
The scene shifts to Mai who stares at Avantika’s picture. She hides it back in the book when she catches Apurva standing at the door. Apurva enters and takes the book from Mai. Pulling the picture out, she asks Mai if it is Avantika and asks her if she is her daughter. Mai nods and breaks down, revealing that Avantika eloped and got married which created a rift between them. She adds that they wouldn’t have opposed the marriage but she did not even care to inform them. She says that like every parent, Dada-kaka also had some dreams for Avantika. He wanted her to get settled first before getting married.
Apurva asks if they never tried to contact Avantika after that. Mai tells her that Dada-Kaka himself called her to invite her to Amey’s wedding but she refused to, saying that she will never step into that house again and that’s how Avantika’s chapter got permanently closed and her name got banned in their house.
She says that even though she was upset with Avantika but the anger faded with time and now her only wish is to see Avantika before she closed her eyes.
Apurva consoles Mai, promising her that she will make her meet Avantika. Mai shakes her head, saying that Dada-Kaka will kick both of them out of the house. Dada-Kaka overhears the whole thing and warns Apurva to stay out of the matter or else the consequences would be bad.
Later at night, Apurva struggles to sleep and keeps tossing on the bed in Shashank’s arms, disturbing his sleep as well. He asks her to go and study if she can’t sleep but let him sleep since he has to go to the institute tomorrow.
She reaches out for his hand, asking if he doesn’t miss her.
He asks miss who. He asks her not to dig Netra’s topic if at all she is talking about her. She shakes her head, saying that she is not talking about her. She tells him that she had made a friend in the U.S. and she still misses her so the one he has been with for his entire childhood, played with, and had so much fun with – if he doesn’t miss that sister.
His eyes snap open the moment he hears sister but pretends like he does not know what she is talking about. Eventually, she tells him that she knows everything about Avantika now so he does not have to hide.
He pushes himself into a sitting position, asking her who she blackmailed to get that information. She reveals that Mai told her and Dada-Kaka knows about it too.
Shashank asks her to let the matter go now that she knows about everything. He urges her to stay quiet about Avantika’s matter now that she has her every answer. Apurva, however, says that she cannot. She shares how inconsolable Mai was when she was talking about Avantika. She tells him that her Atti used to cry the same for Netra. She tells him that she cannot watch Mai this way and urges him to do something together to bring back Mai’s happiness.
Shashank uses his victory in their challenge and asks for a promise not to bring up Avantika’s topic. Not now. Not in the future. She gives him that promise – I promise not to bring up Avantika Tai’s topic in front of you – but silently confesses to herself that she is going to have to break that promise. For Mai because she can’t see Mai crying.
The next day, Apurva brings the tiffin for Kukki and he gets scared, thinking that she has cooked. She laughs, assuring him that she has just brought the tiffin. She gives him his mobile that he forgot on the dining table after breakfast. He praises her for behaving so responsibly. She points out that he is not wearing his specs and he starts calling for Aparna.
Apurva takes his specs down his head and hands them to him. The moment reminds him of something, causing his smile to fade. He says that he just remembered someone. She assures him that everything is going to be okay. He tells her that nothing is going to be okay and she shouldn’t try to make the impossible things possible. She asks him to trust her, reminding him how they set things right during the secret bai fiasco.
He says that he does trust her. She asks him to tell her then who used to do those things and who he remembered. She asks if it was Avantika who used to do it.
Yet another beautiful episode. I absolutely loved it despite it being emotionally quite heavy. This stays one of those episodes where I cannot point fingers at anyone. Everyone seems right in their stance to me. Except for Apurva’s false promise that she made to Shashank, I’ve got nothing and nobody to criticize.
| h o n e s t y
Shashank followed Apurva to the kitchen, knowing that she was upset and disturbed. The whole Avantika matter that nobody was telling her anything about was getting her restless and he could feel that. He could have gotten mad upon watching her taking Avantika’s name again and again despite him repeatedly telling her not to in the previous scene and walked away to breathe for a while because let’s not forget that Avantika is his sister that he was probably extremely close to from what we heard Aparna Kaku accidentally blurt during the picnic.
Not having seen the sister that he so dearly loved and loves makes things upsetting for him as well. Just because nobody from Kanitkars takes Avantika’s name, doesn’t mean they don’t remember her. She has not been in their sight for years, doesn’t mean that she hasn’t been in their heart either.
The silent suffering of Kanitkars that they cannot let even each other see makes me feel for them. Shashank probably did need a minute or two to pull himself out of the pool of the memories that Apurva had thrown him in by taking Avantika’s name but he prioritized talking to Apurva first. He prioritized dealing with her distress over his own and I appreciate that so much.
Shashank could have made up a story to distract Apurva’s mind from Avantika. He could have told her anything and she would have no choice but to believe him but he did not do that. He was extremely clear about the fact that while he understands everything that Apurva is saying, he cannot tell her anything at the moment.
One of the traits that I admire of Shashank is his honesty. His way of expressing himself might be debatable at times but I cannot not appreciate his honesty. He was honest about everything in the first scene. He did acknowledge Apurva’s perspective and urged her to understand his.
When he takes her hand in his after watching her miserably helpless self when she asks him to just let her know what the Avantika matter is – that small gesture spoke volumes. He knows that Apurva deserves to know but he just cannot bring himself to open up about Avantika to Apurva. Not at the moment. And he told her the same. This stayed such a beautiful moment for me. That helpless refusal was too aesthetic not to feel bad for.
He urged her to give him some time. He promised that he would tell her everything on his own when it is the right time but Apurva cannot wait for the time to be right. She needs to know everything at the moment because the longer it will take for her to know the problem, the longer it will take for her to find its solution.
Right now – every single moment is crucial for Apurva because she has witnessed Mai’s vulnerability and her breakdown which makes her just want to find out what is wrong and fix it – the soonest possible because Mai is suffering and that is not something that Apurva can watch happening. She accepted that in front of Shashank as well.
Honesty.
She ends up expressing her frustration and he ends up showing her precisely why he is not willing to tell her anything at the moment.
Honesty.
| v u l n e r a b i l i t y
So now we know what went wrong between Avantika Kanitkar and her family. The revelation flowed way too smoothly than I had expected it to. Needless to say, this is another favorite moment of mine from today’s episode.
The way Mai hid the photograph back in that book when she caught Apurva’s sight but easily let her have the book when she was taking it from her hand gave away that Mai wanted to hide nothing from Apurva.
That tuzi mulgi aahe ka, Mai? (Is she your daughter, Mai?) line hit like no other. Like no other. I do not know why. I cannot explain it either. It just… hit. And that was the last hit needed. Hearing someone addressing Avantika as her daughter after what felt like an eternity to her was more than enough to break the silent pretense that she has chosen for years. That very question ended up exposing what she has been hiding all along. The tormenting pain that still suffocates her.
Like I said in yesterday’s review – Dada-Kaka looks more wounded than mad, more hurt than enraged, and more… broken than stubborn – to me and it got confirmed today.
Marrying someone of her choice is not the issue but – marrying, without at least informing your family about it – is. That is a betrayal that no family expects from their kids. When you take the person that you have chosen as your life partner to your family and they do not agree – is a whole different thing but when you don’t even give your family a chance to say something is a whole different thing.
Avantika was given a whole lot of liberties, I would like to believe. She had her freedom, I would like to believe, and when your family gives you all of it and you still disappoint them by not sharing about one of the most important decisions of your life that you are about to take is a whole different thing.
It is not wrong to expect your kids to be standing on their own two feet before getting into a marriage and if dada-Kaka did expect that from Avantika, I see no fault in that. Dada-Kaka, like he himself admitted the day before the picnic day, is a practical man. While he is traditional and believes in protecting and treasuring relationships – he is practical enough to consider that anything can happen.
What if your partner does not turn out as you imagined? What if he pretends to be someone but is in reality someone entirely opposite? What if you get cheated on? What if things go downhills? What are you going to do? Sit and cry? That is not something that Dada-Kaka wanted for his kids. He needed his daughter to be standing on her own two feet so that if at all something unpleasant happens tomorrow, she won’t have to be stuck with that person in that marriage.
Parents are parents. However mad they may be today, they will eventually embrace you tomorrow. And that is what happened. Dada-Kaka did reach out to Avantika but her ego was too hurt to let her see his love and she ended up destroying the universe that her parents were trying to rebuild. And that’s when – things messed up. More than they already were.
Dada-Kaka held onto his anger but Mai couldn’t. As she is getting older and knows that life is unpredictable – she acknowledges that even though she was mad as well at Avantika back then – all of it seems too insignificant now when she realizes that any day could be her last day. You never know what happens when. You just do not even if you think you do. She – now – has that awareness that there could be any day when she would have to leave and she does not want to see that day with the regret of not meeting her daughter and blessing her for her future life.
Like Apurva said, Mai is not wrong in her expectation either. Absolutely not.
| l o y a l t y
Apurva Vartak Kanitkar has never been into hundreds of people. For several long years of her life, her world revolved around her father and aunt. She may have indulged into her classmates and parties to use them to distract her from her life that was dominated by loneliness but they haven’t been her people. She wouldn’t call them her people.
After her Baba and Atti – the first people that she truly considered and called hers – were Kanitkars. Kanitkars were the ones who showered her with unconditionally overwhelming love, understood her even in the things that weren’t really comfortable for them, embraced her like she has been theirs for ages, stood by her even when she messed up, and appreciated and cheered for her even when nobody else did, recognized that she was much more than the tag of the B.A. failed girl, took deliberate breaks from their work for several days to keep her company – to make sure that she wouldn’t get bored, taught her the things that she did not get to learn at home, and the list is long.
Kanitkars – brought everything to Apurva – that she did not even know that she used to long for before she met them.
Kanitkars are her people and she would go to any lengths when it comes to protecting them and their happiness. Her loyalty toward her people has always been one of the most important parts of her being.
Netra has been unacceptably rude to her all along. Even after constantly getting humiliated by Netra – Apurva still made the uncomfortable choices – solely out of her loyalty toward her Atti.
- The uncomfortable choice of making Shashank talk to Netra when Sarika had locked herself in her room after their encounter where Shashank got felicitated.
- The uncomfortable choice of hiding that Netra had slapped her from everyone because she did not want the news to find any way to reach her Atti and make her feel guilty about it.
- The uncomfortable choice of calling Netra back to the function from where she had left after brutally insulting Apurva just because she did not want her Atti to feel bad that Netra went without eating.
- The uncomfortable choice of hiding that it was Netra because of whom she was crying when everyone kept asking her about it in the function just for her Atti.
This list is long as well but my point is that Apurva has always been of the kind who does not care if her ways are right or wrong, if doing what she is doing earns her insults, taunts, and scoldings, if she herself gets hurt during the process. She has never cared about it. Her mind does not process and understands a lot of things in my opinion. She is sorted that way.
She knows what her priorities are. Here, her priority is Kanitkars’ peace and happiness and she does not care what it will take her to restore that. All that her mind processes is the fact that her family is not happy and she would go as far as she needs to go to find their happiness and bring it back to them.
She does know that the road to their happiness isn’t probably going to be an easy one. She does know that there would be thorns of everyone’s anger that would prick her feet. She does know that there would be stones of accusation of interference that she might stumble upon and could even fall. She does know that she would probably fall into the marsh of the guilt of the hurt that her husband will go through because of her.
She knows it all and still, she wouldn’t back off.
Loyalty!
The only problematic part was the false promise that she made to Shashank. Though, to me, it wasn’t a false promise. It was more of a smart promise to me. She was extremely smart in choosing her words and she is going to stick to the promise that she has made to him. She is not going to bring up Avantika’s topic in front of Shashank but her monologue made it problematic for me.
She confessed to herself that she has made a false promise to him and that… isn’t something that I can appreciate. Why? Because Shashank was incredibly patient and soft with her today. He kept his point, tried to understand her, and tried to make her understand his perspective.
When he asked her for that promise and she gave him that promise – he trusted her. He trusted her without letting the doubt creep in his mind that she might just not stick to it like several previous times. And now when that trust will break – it’s going to be bad. Apurva will have to face the repercussion of this choice that she has made in the future as well, even after this track ends.
I would have rather liked it if she had been honest and upfront about what’s in her heart. I would have appreciated it if she had just refused to give him that promise. I would have really liked it if she had just said that – I am sorry, I cannot make this promise to you. That would have been probably a better choice on her part to make which would have been fair to him.
Let’s see what chaos this choice is going to create.
The sweetest moment for me in the whole episode was the bed scene. Apurva struggling to sleep which also means that Shashank would have to struggle to sleep. When her hand reached out to hold his before she began to reveal what wasn’t letting her sleep was such a small gesture but tugged at my heart. She knows that Avantika’s topic isn’t one of the best topics to touch so when she placed her hand on his, I almost felt like she was creating the protection with her calming touch before bringing up the old wounds of his past. I really liked the scene. I really, really did.
The episode is definitely worth watching, like always! Thank you for reading. Much love.
मला अजून एक पॉईंट असा वाटतो… अपूर्वाने घेतलेल्या action बद्दल…. अपूर्वा स्वतः आईच्या प्रेमासाठी खूप तळमळलेली आहे…. त्यामुळे…. प्रत्येक वेळेला…. जेव्हा केव्हा नेत्रा- आत्ती चे नाते मधे येते… तेव्हा ती backfoot वर येते… तसेच माई आणि अवंतिकाच्या नात्याबद्दल तिला वाटत असेल की… काहीही करून आई मुलीचे नाते कायम राहावे